Bitter Sweet

With every mountain you climb there is always the trip back down.  Adam has been climbing mountains;  Physical Mountains, Emotional Mountains and Spiritual Mountains.

Physical Mountains: Today has been the back side of the mountain for Adam; the swelling was worse, mostly on the left side of his head. His left eye was completely closed for the better part of the day. The nurse had to put ocular lube into his eye so that it would not dry out or become irritated.  Apparently blinking your eyes has very useful purposes, one of which is to keep your eye lubricated.   With his eye being completely swollen shut he could not activate those tear ducts to protect the eye.

” Oh yea, well you should have seen the other guy”

Adam’s right shoulder and arm continue to cause him a good amount of discomfort. There are several thoughts of why he is experiencing pain in this area. One; The  position the doctors had him on the operating table was such that he had his head rolled over and resting on his right side the entire time while they opened up his left side, in addition the tables are very hard and the doctors had something under his back to keep him propped up a little to help their access. Second thought: Adam’s brain might be swelling and causing pressure spots on his brain which in turn would have effects. This might be the most likely as his right hand today was making movements on its own and his fingers would keep going numb.  When he would tell me that his thumb or finger was numb I would put a good amount of pressure on those individual fingers to see if he could feel it, but he could only feel a slight movement, not the pressure. This sensation would come and go throughout the day. Three: His seizures are so violent that he has thrown his shoulder out and damaged the area.  The doctors ordered an x-ray and the tech brought in a portable x-ray machine to take a few pictures of this area. We have not found out the results yet.

He is still physically weak as he has not been able to eat since entering the hospital. His nausea is overpowering his instinct to eat.

Emotional Mountains: When we entered the hospital we were told by the doctors that Adam needed to have three seizures in order for them to obtain the data they needed to operate.  Yesterday Adam climbed this mountain and experienced two very large seizures, prayers were answered, spirits were high as we only needed to capture  one more seizure then Adam could go back on his meds and stabilize out.  Living with the threat of a violent seizure is like walking out of your air-conditioned house out into the heat and humidity of Central Florida in August.  It just hangs in the air always weighing on you, always pressing against your thoughts, always keeping you on guard watching for any signs of the demon waiting to be unleashed.

Adam was told today by Dr. Lee that he would need to have at least five seizures, not three, in order to obtain the needed data.  The two seizures Adam had yesterday were very helpful but they originated in different locations.  Before they operate to remove any portion of the brain exactness of location is required.  The first seizure yesterday originated in the left temporal lobe region; The areas of concern in this lobe are speech, language and memory.  By removing all or part of this lobe Adam could face losing partial  functions in each of these areas.  The second seizure yesterday originated in the left frontal lobe, as I understood Dr. Lee today this could affect motor skills.

When a seizure begins it spreads very rapidly across the brain; it can travel across the surface of the brain or it can travel through the brain in a matter of milliseconds.  Each tumor acts as a receptor or antenna for the rapid, out of control electric signal being unleashed in the brain.  The electrical signals find pathways in which to travel, either across the surface or through the brain.  These pathways can be as damaging as the tumor itself over the course of Adam’s life. If another tumor finds this pathway it can reignite the connections to other places in the brain and cause the rebirth of the demon once the original has been removed.

Tonight we find ourselves riding the avalanche of news down the emotional climb we made yesterday.  Adam is resilient, even in pain and discomfort he is willing to take the setback and return to the climb in hopes of finding the summit of health and wholeness; to live and understand as others do.

After Dr. Lee gave him the news today.

Spiritual Mountains: Adam is ever on an ascent to greater spiritual heights, the greater the physical difficulties the closer he draws to the Lord. I don’t see the back side of a mountain for him here. Even though he is in an extreme situation, where his personal wellbeing is at stake, he insists that we read the scriptures to him every night. Sometime ago the missionaries visited our home and challenged us to read the scriptures everyday; Adam took this challenge and has been true  and faithful to his commitment ever since.

The days get long and boring in a hospital room. There are few distractions from the pain and discomfort. The hospital has provided a nice flat screen TV with a number of channels and movies that are available. Adam, in his quiet way chose to avoid the media but simply asked me if he could listen to the music on my iPad. I got it out and found him a set of ear pieces so he could listen.  As I looked over his shoulder I could see he was searching for something in particular, so I asked him.  He simply said he wanted to listen to church music… my eyes teared up at the faithfulness of this young man and I found the music he was searching for through his one available eye.

We had a visit from the Hillis family this evening and Amy read to Adam a passage from a talk that Elder Holland gave entitled “The Ministry of Angels.” I quote “Usually (angels) are not seen. Sometimes they are. But seen or unseen they are always near… I testify of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I  am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face.”  We believe that Adam is always being watched over, many of you have been those angels in his life… Thank You… I also believe that there are forces on the other side of the veil lending him a helping hand, for he still has work to do in this life. He is determined to fulfill a full time mission.

There will always be mountains in life to climb and avalanches to face; when it comes to the spiritual realm Adam is a modern spiritual mountaineer, always  climbing to a higher exalted  peek.  Thank you for the quiet, humble example son.

Adam, a Gospel Bridge