Monthly Archives: August 2012

My Body is a Temple

We are taught from our youth that the physical bodies we now inhabit are a gift from above;  We are taught that our bodies are sacred , they are temples to house the Spirit of the Lord;  We are taught that these bodies have been given to us from God and as such we should care for them as sacred temples.

Much discussion has gone forth about the standards we are taught, and should uphold, and why we should follow them.  In a world of ever-changing ideas, values and standards there are guiderails available for our protection… there is safety if following the counsel given.  The apostle Paul taught:

(1 Cor. 3: 16-17)

16  Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

17   If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy which temple ye are.

We are taught to avoid alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea and harmful drugs.  We are taught not to pierce our bodies with piercing…  women are counseled to have only ear-piercing for one set of earrings.  We are taught to not “decorate”  our bodies with tattoos.  We are taught not to put ourselves in extreme situations where we could suffer bodily harm.  We are taught to dress modestly and to cover our bodies so as not to draw attention to them in any improper fashion.  Alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, harmful drugs, body piercing, tattoos, extreme activities and immodest clothes are all popular items of the day with those who follow the fashions and trends of the world… some pick and choose those items they use or do by rationalizing their actions with mistaken justification.

Adam has from his youth kept the standards set forth by our leaders.  He has endeavored to keep his body free from the impurities of the world… he has avoided the intake of harmful substances, he has not pierced or tattooed his body, never has he sought to be immodest… always keeping his hair and clothing in the guidelines given by the Brethren.

Why do some who seek to keep their God-given temple in order, who never defile its foundation, walls and spires end up with a temple which is less than perfect?  Why are some given such beautiful edifices full of talents and grandeur yet they spoil them with poisons, graffiti and worldly wantonness?

Adam was given a less than a perfect body;  He was given a disorder called Tuberous Sclerosis, a disorder which affects all the major organs of the body.  His temple was genetically marred while yet in the womb; discovered when he was seven.  Why does this have to be?  The scales of fairness are not balanced… As I look around there are so many with so much who don’t realize the wealth in which they possess.

Life was never meant to be fair… and it isn’t.  It is through our experiences, through our challenges and through our choices that we will be weighed and judged on eternal scales; The Atonement of our Savior will adjust and recalculate the balance to ensure all is done in mercy for our benefit…. yet mercy cannot rob justice.

A healthy child with a “normal” body is taken for granted;  all is right in their world; Parents of a healthy child might worry about what team their child will play on; What groups they will join;  What car you will buy them when they turn sixteen and what college they will be accepted to.  Difficulties come when they don’t make the varsity team or first chair in band… or when they didn’t get invited to the prom with the person they “really” wanted to go with or they got  accepted into their second or third choice of universities.  These are all things to be concerned with as we all love are children, we seek their happiness and to do the best we can for each of them.

A parent of a child with a temple that is less than perfect wonders what the day will bring.. They don’t take anything for granted, accept that there will be unknowns…so many unknowns with their child… They ponder the thoughts; …will he or she be sick today, will there be another trip to the doctor’s office or to the hospital or a 911 call.  Will your child be able to make it to school today or even make it through the school year.. will you need to hold them back for another year. You don’t worry about what team they will make, only if they will get picked to play; picked from the line up as they stand with others along the wall of shame in hopes of not being the last one picked.  You are not worried about who will ask them out on a date or to the prom, only if the other kids will include them in their conversations so they don’t feel so alone… you hope that someone might call or visit them without asking, off to the side, for the favor.  You don’t worry about colleges… you are concerned if they will ever be able to support themselves and be independent someday.

Why are some temples perfect and others less so?… I don’t know.

I do know that I have learned many lessons that I never would have been taught had it not been for Adam and his less than perfect temple.  Lessons that can only be taught by the Master Teacher for the benefit of those who receive them… those who will accept the lessons for what they are.  To those parents who have a child with a “less than” perfect temple you know what I mean and understand my feelings.

Adam’s temple was in need of repair… not by any earthly choice of his own.

On July 18th and again on July 25th Adam had brain surgery.  On Wednesday the 25th Adam had to have sections of his brain removed to improve his condition.  He had a Left Temporal Lobectomy and a resection of his Left Frontal lobe in hopes of being seizure free.  In hopes of living as others do… a life where he can drive a car, serve a mission, be independent and attend a college or university.. in hopes that he will have a family someday.  We were taking his temple which had suffered damage from a genetic earthquake and tried to reinforce its foundation and walls through surgery.  This type of surgery was not available a decade or two ago… It is relatively new.  The surgical knowledge had been given and we had hopes of using this knowledge to improve Adam’s body and his mind.

“Temporal lobectomy is the removal of a portion of the temporal lobe of the brain. It is the most common type of epilepsy surgery and is also the most successful type: After surgery, 60% to 70% of patients are free of seizures that impair consciousness or cause abnormal movements. Some of these patients still experience auras, sensations (odors, for instance) without an outside source.

20% to 25% of patients still have some complex partial or tonic-clonic seizures but the number of seizures is reduced by more than 85%.

10% to 15% of patients have no worthwhile improvement.”… These numbers are for a non-TS patients so the percentages are not the same for Adam… His percentages are a lower than the numbers given here.

Adam has had most of his left temporal lobe removed, the majority being the anterior portion.  Anterior temporal lobectomy is the complete removal of the anterior portion of the temporal lobe of the brain.  Along with this a portion of his Left Frontal Lobe were removed on this fateful Wednesday.

The doctors took 9 1/2 hours to perform the surgery.

Here are two MRI images of Adam’s Left Temporal Lobe and his Left Frontal Lobe.  These images are reversed… so the left side appears on the right as you are looking at it.  The areas which are hollow or white on the his left side (right as you are looking at it) are the resected areas.  The first image shows his left temporal lobe…. if you were looking at it from the side the entire area would be gone, this image is looking down so you see the brain tissue that is below the temporal lobe area… it is difficult to see the depth.

The second image is showing the left frontal lobe area.  In both pictures you can compare the symmetry or lack of symmetry from the right side of the brain which was not operated on.

Left Temporal Lobe

Left Frontal Lobe

The human body is a wonderful gift and creation… It is a wonderful gift from our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ.

Elder Russel M. Nelson, a world-class surgeon, described our body at the last General Conference as follows:

Physical Gifts

“Our Heavenly Father loves His children. He has blessed each with physical and spiritual gifts. Let me speak of each type. When you sing “I Am a Child of God,” think of His gift to you of your own physical body. The many amazing attributes of your body attest to your own “divine nature.”

“Each organ of your body is a wondrous gift from God. Each eye has an autofocusing lens. Nerves and muscles control two eyes to make a single three-dimensional image. The eyes are connected to the brain, which records the sights seen.

“Your heart is an incredible pump. It has four delicate valves that control the direction of blood flow. These valves open and close more than 100,000 times a day—36 million times a year. Yet, unless altered by disease, they are able to withstand such stress almost indefinitely.

“Think of the body’s defense system. To protect it from harm, it perceives pain. In response to infection, it generates antibodies. The skin provides protection. It warns against injury that excessive heat or cold might cause.

“The body renews its own outdated cells and regulates the levels of its own vital ingredients. The body heals its cuts, bruises, and broken bones. Its capacity for reproduction is another sacred gift from God.

“Be we reminded that a perfect body is not required to achieve one’s divine destiny. In fact, some of the sweetest spirits are housed in frail or imperfect bodies. Great spiritual strength is often developed by people with physical challenges, precisely because they are so challenged.

“Anyone who studies the workings of the human body has surely “seen God moving in his majesty and power.” Because the body is governed by divine law, any healing comes by obedience to the law upon which that blessing is predicated.

“Yet some people erroneously think that these marvelous physical attributes happened by chance or resulted from a big bang somewhere. Ask yourself, “Could an explosion in a printing shop produce a dictionary?” The likelihood is most remote. But if so, it could never heal its own torn pages or reproduce its own newer editions!”

For those with perfect or less than perfect bodies, know that God loves you and that you are one of His creations.  All things have a purpose if we endure them well.

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God… and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.”  Orson F. Whitney

Know that your body is a temple of God and keeping clean, unspotted from worldly marks is very important.

Alma 7:21

“And he doth not dwell in unholy temples; neither can filthiness or anything which is unclean be received into the kingdom of God;…:

1 Cor. 3: 16                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

16  “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?”    

After Adam’s surgery there are daily and weekly routines which consists of:

1.  Physical Therapy  (PT)

2.  Occupational Therapy (OT)

3.  Speech Therapy (ST)

4.  Doctor Visits with follow-up visits on the follow-up visits.

While Adam was in the hospital all of these items were located in one place… His hospital room.  Now that we are home… which is a blessing… all of these visits are at various places… not a blessing.  We find ourselves driving here and driving there for these appointments… current gas prices do not help lighten the load.

The other items in life that you would normally have to accomplish have to wait or you have to find ways around them… it becomes a matter of priorities.

Adam’s sisters just started school, this is an effort akin to moving a mountain when talking about two teenage girls.  We had to get them enrolled in the school system, then we had to get their classes assigned, then we had to nail down the class schedule… which is an ever-moving target… then there is buying the school supplies, deciding on which clothes to wear, how their hair is going to be, what they are going to take in their lunch, what time they are going to get up, how early are they going to get to school… don’t want to be to close to the bell and draw attention to themselves or they might need to get there a little early to have time to visit with others… the list goes on and on.

Had Grandmother not been here to help, a lot of the normal duties we would have to perform would not have happened or the stress level would be significantly higher trying to accomplish them.  Grandmother has been such a help.. always calm and willing to take up the slack… thank you Grandmother.

I have been blessed with a little time off from work which has allowed me to take Adam to some of his Therapy sessions… Cindy has done it the other times.  Yesterday I met with several of his therapists and watched a portion of these sessions.  The staff was excellent and friendly… each took an active interest in Adam and his progress.

Each of Adam’s therapists are amazed at his progress.. they have had to advance their programs as he is moving ahead at great speed.  One of his therapists, his speech therapist, yesterday stated that Adam’s progress has been miraculous… I mentioned that Adam has been blessed from above; that there were many people praying for him…. today progress was 20% better than his last.

Your prayers continue to pull down the Powers of Heaven in his behalf….THANK YOU.

Things are not Hollywood perfect in his recovery, but there are so many positives.  If you could apply a filter, a filter that would block out the static, the distortions and distractions of our everyday events you would see the hand of God working in our lives… I have.  There have been so many miracles associated with Adam’s surgery and his recovery… in his life, in our lives, and in the lives of so many others.  If you will take a humble step out of the room and move yourself away from preconceived notions of the conditioned world we live in… you will perceive and see the work of Angels… a master mosaic carefully being built according to the Master Builders Plans… All to bring about His purposes.

I am including some video clips of Adam’s therapy sessions yesterday.  His progress is wonderful… His attitude is humbling… His disposition is Happy.  We held our Family Home Evening last night… towards the end I had mentioned, in relation to some of the scriptures we were studying,  how Adam’s surgery and that some of his suffering has helped  others in numerous ways.  He quietly said how he “would not change a thing”   My heart wept with love for a young man who has suffered so much, who has gone through so much pain, whose future is unknown… yet he would go though it again if it would help another.  Adam we love you and continue to pray for you… Thank you

I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

September 1, 1994, Adam Michael Hawkes was born into this world.  He came from the his pre-mortal home where he lived with the spirit host of heaven… those spirits which kept their first estate.  While there he lived as a spirit waiting for his time to come to earth;  Waiting for the time when his spirit would join with a body to fulfill his purposes and accomplish the measure of his creation.

My thoughts tonight come from a discussion I had with Cindy, a conference talk given by Elder Rasband and the words of my niece Stephanie given to Adam. How grateful I am for the inspiration, kindness and love of others.

Have you ever felt and said to yourself, in those quiet moments of the morning, that there is something else for me to do?  Have you ever been in a busy, crowded place with people going by in all directions and you go unnoticed to the mass of humanity?  In that moment have you felt that you have a place and purpose, that you are much more apart of the picture than the situation appears?  Have you ever acted on a feeling knowing that it was the right thing to do?  Have you ever experienced the feeling that you “have been here before” or met someone and said  “don’t I know you” or “haven’t we met before?”

I believe that while we were lodged in our pre-mortal home, prior to coming to earth, we developed friendships, we gained knowledge, we developed talents and that before leaving we made promises to our God that we would do certain things once we came to earth.  I think, in part, that this is why we feel that we have met someone previously on our first meeting; That some of our pre-mortal friendships are rekindled in this life… when we meet these old friends it seems so natural and friendship flows so easy.  I believe that many of the gifted individuals with extreme talents brought those pre-learned abilities with them when they came to earth. More importantly I believe that we agreed with our Heavenly Father in our pre-mortal life that we would do our best to accomplish certain things while living out our lives here on earth.  I believe that some of us agreed to reach out and touch others for the better and to help them in their life;  I believe that some of us agreed we would share our table with those who are hungry: I believe that we agreed to share our talents for the benefit of others… And I believe that some suffer that others might benefit… let me explain.

In John 9: 1-3, Jesus was walking with his disciples when they came across a man who had been blind since birth. They asked Jesus whose fault it was as to why this man was born blind.  Was it due to the sins of his parents or due to the sins of the man himself?  It is interesting to observe that the Savior stated that neither was the case, but he was blind so that the “works of God should be made manifest in him.”

This is an excellent example of the Savior teaching about the pre-mortal life we came from. This man must have agreed in his pre-mortal life to help show the people that Jesus was the Christ; the Son of God.  By knowingly being born blind all those around him knew for many years that he could not see… even from his birth. Jesus performed the miracle and restored his sight for all to see and to testify that he was indeed the Messiah.

This man was fulfilling his pre-mortal promises that the works of The Savior might be made manifested:

1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.

2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

(John 9: 1-3)

Promises or Covenants are made in the pre-mortal world. An example of this would be found with our Savior.  He stood up among all of Father’s children and said “Send Me” and “Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.” The Savior covenanted with the Father that he would ransom us from Death and Sin… And He did!

In a previous post I had spoken about patriarchal blessings, and that Adam has received his own Patriarchal Blessing.  These are sacred documents to the individual to whom they are given.  Adam has shared his with our family;  Without going into too much details I just wanted to share a little about the special nature of Adam.

Adam attended the councils in heaven and promised Heavenly Father many things prior to coming to earth that he would accomplish here.

Each of us were there in our pre-mortal home:  Each of us feel and understand important things at various intervals in our lives… Each of us made promises before coming here and when we come close to fulfilling those promises we are energized from within… we sense the good from the Devine which is near.

As a boy Adam was so full of life, so curious of the world around him and he was so bright… He had many talents which shined through his little personality; He would radiate a room with hope and the possibilities that might be.

April 13, 2002 the monster attacked our little boy and has been robbing him of a normal life since that day. The battles, the 911 calls, the hospitals and doctor visits all  have become a part of our daily and weekly life, all the while our little boy was walking the crucible; A mental crucible, A physical crucible, A social crucible.  We could see the pain, the physical pain he suffered, but we never knew the emotional or inner conflicts.

Year after year we fought; Adam was always so good… The doctors would stick him with so many needles and he would never complain or say ouch… I could see him squint with pain… but never a word of complaint.  There were those mornings that he would come out of his bedroom with his tongue badly cut up and swollen… he wouldn’t say much; we knew that he been fighting the beast alone the night before and experiencing the violent world of seizures…he couldn’t eat, it hurt too much…so he just got out of the habit of eating breakfast… to this day he still doesn’t eat breakfast.

Out of the mouth of babes… or out of the example of our son have I learned so many lessons.

I now feel that Adam made covenants before coming to earth to be a missionary for our Savior. I believe that he knows the Savior very well and the Savior knows Adam: though Adam may not remember all the details of this relationship. I know that through Adam’s suffering others have been touched by the sweet spirit; the tender touch of the Holy Ghost. Adam has suffered that others might come closer to him who he puts his faith in… even Jesus Christ.

We have been taught so many Eternal Lessons from Adam; Through Adam’s suffering the eternal moments are made clearer.

Much like the blind man from birth, God’s works are being made manifest through our little boy.  These are a few of the fruits of a son to his father.

I am being taught a greater dependence upon the Lord… where to turn in times of need as well as in times of plenty. I am being schooled on the worth of a soul… all of God’s Children and the good they possess. I am able to exercise a greater measure of faith.  I am learning to give a greater portion of my heart to him whom I love…. I want to give all of it to Him… He is teaching how.

Adam, as you relearn to Talk;  As you relearn to Read; As you relearn about the world around you… you are teaching all of us or helping us learn Eternal Lessons.  Thank you for your sacrifice that we might gain these lasting blessings… May your missionary influence grow and may you fulfill all your promises… Thank you son.

Stephanie is one of Adam’s cousins’. She and her sister sent Adam a care package and included a video they made over a period of several days.  Stephanie was kind enough to leave a few special words at the end of the video which I would like to share with all of you.  Thank you Stephanie

Delayed Impact on Parents

It is an interesting collage that Cindy and I are experiencing since bringing Adam home from the hospital.

Adam is making progress; There are the hills and valley’s for him to travel through on his trek to recovery… this is to be expected. What wasn’t expected is the collateral damage or blast scatter of his surgery on us.  I feel it is important to write this as a “memo to self” or as a guide for other parents who might travel the path we have trod… I pen this not by way of complaint, but in hopes of expressing a few feelings and possibly a map that others might use.

The impact and effects of an explosive device are not all experienced immediately but can be delayed and felt for sometime after detonation.  The full catalog of damages cannot be quantified at the point and time of impact.

With the distancing of time,  grows an outcrop of unsettled, scattered, and sometime toxic seeds; seeds that find fertile soil and are sprouted  on exit wounds. I have found personal exit wounds and experienced the delayed effects of items that are an outcrop of Adam’s surgery.

When preparing for an enemy or facing a blast we wear protective Armor;  On the spiritual battlegrounds I choose to wear The Armor of God.  In Ephesians we are taught by Paul concerning the Armor of God .

11.  Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12.  For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14. Stand therefore, having your loins  girt  about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15. And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16. Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:  (Ephesians 6: 11-17)

Armor, ancient and modern, is designed to absorb the blows of the enemy and the impact of his weapons. While wearing armor we still feel the force and pressure of those weapons as they pound upon us, but we are protected from direct physical contact ; Even though we are protected from the blade’s edge, these blows all have a cumulative effect and take their toll.

Sometimes the armor we wear will not cover us completely, or there might be a chink or two in our armor.  The enemy will look for these spots of vulnerability and seek to find ways to penetrate, wound and maim.

There are flaming arrows of hurt which can pass through our defenses, leaving exit wounds for none to see except those who felt the arrow after it left its quiver and took flight.  These unseen exit wounds face away from the battle front and mostly go unnoticed because we maintain our battle face for others to see.

Modern emotional exit wounds are often collateral damage from an unintended IED.  Fragments of small shrapnel can find chinks in our protective armor; When they enter, their penetration point is small but upon exiting they produce an exit wound which is much larger than its entry: Opening a ragged, painful hole that is usually cloaked from the eyes of others.

Shrapnel, unintended or intended, can come in many forms and from a variety of sources: It can come in the middle of the night when you wake up thinking about your child and his or her future… It can come from not knowing what the future holds… It can come from financial worries… It can come from an overburden of “to do’s” that need to get done… It can come from a situation at your work or with your employment… It can come simply as a car not starting or a flat tire on a road… it is anything that is an area of personal vulnerability at that time in your life.

In all its forms… it amplifies your feelings of burden and enlarges the poor situation you find yourself in… What use to seem simple and doable, now becomes difficult and weighty to shoulder.

These fragments of shrapnel consist of a little mass… their point of entry is small, but they travel with speed, hit with force, and are uneven and sharp in nature.. when they hit, they can spin wildly within in us, gaining greater mass and momentum until they exit… when they do exit they come out on our unexposed side… showing up at home away from the daily stage we play our parts on; They appear in our moments of aloneness causing us a painful pivoting turn in the direction of our personal prison for the fear of judgement…they can leave a large unattended wound…an unnoticed wound… it is here where seeds of  loneliness, detachment, bewilderment and anger  find the soil to grow… it is here where pain lingers as it appears out of reach to treat… it is here that we experience a greater measure of the unwanted emotions because they hide, yet blossom in the shadows of ignorance and embarrassment… it is here where pain goes untreated because it is not public.

If left untreated the battle is lost and the war’s outcome becomes in question.

The delayed impact of a number of items can take its toll upon its victims… very unexpectedly… maybe it just takes time to catch up.  We have the tools to treat, we have the ointment to soothe, we have the direction to turn to for aid… A compass which points true;  A First Aid Kit is available and is found in searching The Word of God and in the plea of a humble prayer… here are a few thoughts in dealing with the exit wounds of an unexpected shock wave.

1.  Maintain your marriage relationship:   Keep your bonds alive and work together with your companion.  Cindy is an amazing individual who continues to sew up my exit wounds, although I am a terrible patient.

2. Wear the Armor of God:  Trust in the word;  Put faith into action… make the leap… It is real and it will give you hope… exercise faith in that which you know and in that which you hope for.  There are Miracles;  Miracles will happen,  Miracles do happen… but first you need to exercise faith… God will test you… then flows the miracle after the trial of your faith.

3.  Be Patient:  God’s timeline is not our timeline… this I have learned…. be patient… If you will trust God, Be Obedient and Exercise Faith you will see with perfect clarity God’s guiding hand in your life.

4.  Remember the Good in Others: Focus on the good and not the trouble spots.  I have found so much good in others… I have seen so much good in others… and this continues to heal the daily wounds.

5. Remember the words of my Grandfather:  Papa would always say to remember three things; Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family and don’t worry about money because they print it everyday… Thank you Papa.

Armor of God

I cannot begin to express the jubilation I feel as I have sat down with Adam the past several nights and enjoyed his company. I cannot express the overwhelming feelings that I feel from the power of united prayer… your prayers and ours… Thank you.

We have our son back… back home and back with us.  He knows his family; His mind is continually making new connections… Each and every day we are seeing progress in his object recognition and speaking.  There are still times of difficulties and rough roads ahead, but these paths are become smoother with the passage of time. Adam’s road is beginning to be more level as the Master Road Builder continues His gentle grading of  the path ahead;  As the time passes, fleeting minutes and hours will leave thoughts, words and sentences in their wake for him to build upon.

It’s been two weeks and a day from Adam’s last surgery.  We brought him home this past Saturday, just 11 days after the surgery where the doctors removed several areas of Adam’s brain. He continues his upward progress with a smile of a surety and the certainty of true faith…. Thank you Adam.. we love you.

Here is a message from Adam just two weeks and a day after his surgery.

Last week President Allan Pratt called me at the hospital and asked if I would put together a few thoughts on the topic of Hope; In addition would I be willing to share my thoughts with some of the brethren we serve with…I said I would do my best.

I struggled for inspiration on what to say and how to say it… late Saturday night I went to bed still empty of thoughts and direction on how to fulfill this assignment.  After arising early Sunday morning I offered a prayer and a plea for help… In the still quiet hours of the morning I found the needed peace and knowledge I was seeking.

By the gentle nudging and request of Cindy I am including a few of these thoughts here for others to read… I hope you don’t mind as they all come from our experience with Adam and his journey.

At times, I believe that we can all lose a measure of hope;  In this world there are so many conflicting messages.. for some their situation might even appear  hopeless;  Depression and Discouragement become twin sisters leading down a darkened  staircase to the pit of Despair where a soul cries out for Hope.

I have seen Hope and I have seen Despair… I have seen Light and I have seen Darkness… their contrast is striking.

Faith, Hope and Charity:

Faith:      Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ

Hope:      Hope in the Atonement of Jesus Christ

Charity:  The pure love of Christ

My desire is to address HOPE and why the Atonement of Jesus Christ is so fundamental in finding HOPE for each and every one of us.

God created this earth for us; We are to experience for ourselves this mortal experience; We are to learn from our choices… the lessons we learn while sojourning through this life will be a benchmark for our learning in the next life.

Adam and Eve partook of the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden; As a consequence of their action they were no longer innocent, they became mortal and left Eden.  Adam and Eve were now able to know the difference between good and evil, which allowed Sin to slip into the world.  They were now mortal; Death followed the fall and is bequeath upon all.  Sin and Death were now part of our eternal journey.

A Savior was needed: An earth had been created for us to inhabit:  Adam and Eve were now mortal, thus all of their offspring would inherit this mortality; they would inherit mortal bodies and be subject to death.  In addition to death, the knowledge of good and evil was introduced, all the sons of Adam and all the daughters of Eve would be able to choose for themselves between good and evil. Sin had entered into the world. Most of our hopelessness extends from these two Titans of Unhappiness.

Those who choose darkness over light;  Those who choose evil over good and those who willfully choose contrary to the  will of God make  themselves unclean and unable to return to the presence of the Father.  Our ultimate goal is to return to and live with God; to live in eternal happiness with Him:  But if we are unclean we cannot enter back into His presence.

“And no unclean thing can enter into his kingdom:…”  (3 Ne 27: 19)

Christ in Gethsemane

A Savior was needed:

A Savior was needed to overcome the effects of Sin.. to become clean again… and to overcome the effects of death… that we might live again with Him.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ overcomes the effects of Sin… if we will repent.  He took upon himself our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane if we will come unto Him, Accept Him as our Savior and Repent of our wrong doings.

“And no unclean thing can enter into his kingdom; therefore nothing entereth into his rest save it be those who have washed their garments in my blood, because of their faith, and the repentance of all their sins, and their faithfulness unto the end.”       (3 Ne 27:19)

Jesus Christ also overcame the bonds of death by willingly giving up his life on the Cruel Cross of Calvary; no man took his life from him;  his life he freely offered for you and I:

“No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power  to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.”  (John 10: 18)

On the Third Day Jesus was resurrected, His spirit and body rejoined never to be parted again. He broke the bands of death, he being the first fruits of the resurrection.  This gift of resurrection is a free gift to all.

Resurrected Savior

Even though we suffer through severe physical ailments, we shall all live again… We have HOPE.

The Three D’s:  3D’s

Despair, Disappointment, and Discouragement:

My experience in the hospital with Adam has amplified my understanding of the three D’s and the hopelessness some individuals experience.

I saw individuals who struggled with mortality and the finite aspects of this life… I understand this;  Our feelings run deep and our desires for life flow strong. When threatened with a loss of a loved one or a body in an altered physical state, our emotional pain and uncertainties sink our “hope” to new lows… Despair, Discouragement and Disappointment can set in… it is a pain which finds no comfort…But there is a comfort if we will allow the Atonement of our Savior to apply the Balm of Gilead in our lives.  This life is meant to be finite… it will pass, and we will live again because the chains of death have been unlocked; Death has lost its sting.

Adam brought death into the world which passes to all his posterity;  Christ took the darkness out of death that all might live again in the light.  Death was conquered by the resurrection when Jesus rose from the tomb on the third day.

“‘For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ  shall all be made alive.” (1Cor 15:22)

Sin:  Sin is acting against or contrary to God’s will.

Sin leads us on a path which ends in despair, depression and disappointment…. unhappiness. You can see the effects of sin in the world around us: observe the rise of the moral decline compared to the large numbers of those with low levels of hope.  People seek to find happiness in that which is contrary to God’s will… they might find short-term relief  from the 3D’s or find a perceived form of happiness for a season, but in the end, there is no happiness in sin; Seeking for hope in sin is contrary to eternal laws…. it will not happen.

The Atonement: It is through the Atonement that the gift to be forgiven is found;  That the effects of sin can be overcome and we can find happiness, true happiness.  It is through a “broken heart and contrite spirit” that we will come to our knees and seek forgiveness… it is then when we are sufficiently humble that we will find the Mercy and Grace of our Savior.

The Demands of Sin were answered in a Garden called Gethsemane; The Sting of Death has been neutralized by a glorious day in The Garden Tomb.  The 3D’s of this life which plague us all are conquerable by the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  HOPE is offered through His Atonement.

Where To Turn: It is very important to predetermine where you will turn in times of trouble.  Will you turn towards the Savior for real hope or will you turn to the world which offers an ever changing and fading portfolio of terminal philosophies?

Goodness Of Others: My hope has been renewed through this ordeal in the goodness of others.  I have seen their faith, I have heard their prayers and I have received their uplifting words.  Members of our family and of our church have pulled together; They have fasted and prayed for Adam all the while working on their own trials.  Without asking they have put Adam’s name on most of the temple rolls across this country.

Members of  other congregations and communities that I have never met nor do I know have been united in prayer for our son out of sheer goodness of soul.

I met Jay on the phone; Jay is the Chaplin for Carl Black GMC.  He was very understanding of our situation; he was willing to ask his connections of over 5000 individuals to pray for Adam…Then he offered a prayer for Adam on the phone while he was driving…

I have seen and heard corporate executives write and speak of our Savior and offer their prayers in behalf of our son; A politically incorrect action in a politically correct world… but it was the right thing to do and they did it.

Thank you all so much.

Miracles: Miracles do happen; Offering  Hope to all who can see them.

Miracles happen each and every day around us… if we know where to look or what we are looking for.  Our son went into the hospital on a Wednesday, while there had two major brain surgeries where several parts of his brain were removed.  He left the hospital 18 days after entering… This is a miracle.  Through the small and simple… GREAT things are realized.

Miracle of Prayer:  There is power in prayer… there is power in united prayers… Miracles are brought about through prayer.  Thank you for your prayers.

Inspiration: Hope can present itself in many forms, I found hope arriving in the form of inspired ideas from others.  Listen and watch as others can bring much needed inspiration into your life.  We have received great help and hope from others these past few weeks.  From Armando suggesting Adam drink “ensure” when he could not keep other foods down.  Adam was in desperate need of nutrition, but was not able to keep the food in his stomach,  nor did he feel like eating in the days following surgery due to his nausea.  It was by inspiration that Armando as he was helping us with Adam when we mentioned about Adam not being able to eat.  He quickly stated that we ought to try “ensure” as it worked for him when he was in the hospital after his brain surgery… It worked well for Adam… it was the first thing in days that Adam was able to keep down.

Inspiration that came and kept coming to our speech therapist.  The inspiration and the love of Lindsey, our nurse, who would nurture Adam back to strength.. always optimistic and hopeful for Adam’s recovery… This gave us such great hope.

The Three P’s”:  Prayer, Priesthood and Patriarchal Blessings

Prayer: The Power of prayer cannot be overstated.  Pray, Pray often and be unified in your Prayers.

Priesthood: Priesthood is God’s authority given to man to act in His name.  Priesthood allows us the opportunity to pronounce blessings upon the sick and afflicted; To bless those who are Discouraged, or in Despair or have found  Disappointments.  The Priesthood and the blessings it offers, brings the gift of HOPE in an unsettled world.

Patriarchal Blessings: Patriarchal Blessings are given by a Patriarch.  A Patriarch is an office within the Priesthood and those who hold this responsibility have the authority to pronounce a blessing upon individuals which is a guide to them throughout their life… a simple way of stating it; A patriarchal blessing is a personal letter from Heavenly Father to help you as a guide in your life.

Adam has had his patriarchal blessing… The words from this blessing have been a great source of help in troubled waters.  They have been a fountain of hope in rough seas.

The Three P’s are a wonderful remedy for the 3D’s.

The Scriptures: The written word from divine sources are a blanket of comfort on a cold lonely night.  In our darkest hours, the words of the prophets bring light into night.  If I might share one example;

While dealing with Adam and the many unknowns after surgery the world became very uncertain for us.  Cindy is our optimist, I am a realist.  Cindy is always looking for the good in the situation, I wanted to know the facts… I wanted to know what I was fighting to help Adam in his recovery.  The doctors could not give us or did not want to give us the details of the last operation… we were worried.  I expressed this to Cindy, she sweetly looked at the positives… even though we had to stretch to find them.  I had cast doubt into her mind concerning Adam and the extent of damages and other possibilities from this surgery…. Unintentionally, I had taken some hope away from her.

I had left the hospital for the night, leaving her with come uncertainties… Where did she turn in a time of despair? …She turned to the scriptures.  The Lord was kind to her that night and guided her fingers as she opened the holy writ.  As she opened the scriptures up she looked upon them and read:

“Verily I say unto you my friends fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;

Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament—the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.

Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord.” (D&C 98: 1-3)

Her Heart and Soul found comfort and HOPE  on that lonely night in the scriptures.

There is HOPE in the Atonement… Have assurance that Christ will fulfill all of  His Promises. He has conquered all that we cannot;  He offers it as a free gift to you and I.

Where do you turn in the changing seasons of life?  Will they be a smooth highway or the roads less traveled?

Adam Came Home Yesterday!!!!!!!! Hurray!!!… It is so nice to have him home.

However, before coming home we had to accomplish some of the normal house keeping items at the hospital prior to leaving…. paperwork, discharge instructions, etc..

Cari the speech therapist, one of the “above the mile makers” in Adam’s life came by on her day off to spend some time with him…. during this visit I found out that Cari is training for a Triathlon…WOW. .. She had to accomplish her morning workout and other normal Saturday activities prior to coming to the hospital… her triathlon race is next week.

Another one of Cari’s “out of the box” ideas for Adam was to have him work with his snakes…she wanted to have several of Adam’s snakes brought to the hospital and use them for his speech therapy. Prior to Adam’s surgery he knew everything about his snakes; he knows them inside and out. He could tell you where they were from, how big they would get, what they ate, when they slept and just about everything else you would possibly want to know.. or maybe not want to know about them…. so the logic was this; By working with his snakes, those that he was familiar with, might help him with his word associations and bring about those needed connections; connecting the new neural highways in his relearning brain.

Cindy worked it out a few days prior with Cari to bring two of his snakes in and have us all meet down stairs in the outside resting area…. just off the main lobby of the Disney Pavilion.  It all worked out, Cindy was there with the snakes, Cari and Adam were there in the wheel chair and the show began.

Adam was happy to see some of his pets, but was lacking a little energy and the ability to focus.. you could see him trying… trying to push through this, all the while keeping a smile on his face.  His words and memory were not as good as we had hoped to achieve… but it is all a step in the right direction.  Adam is getting better everyday and will someday reach a new height. He will speak, he will drive, he will share his testimony of the Savior to many people in many places.  As much as I would love to have it all right now, I realize this is not how the Lord works.  In my tutoring, I have learned that the Lord does not teach from cliff notes.  His work of molding men will take time, pressure and patience:  The ingredients needed to refine the impurities out of our mortal sojourn.

Cari was a real champion… she does not like snakes… but was willing to go the extra mile for our Adam. She looked at them, she got close to them and finally she held them… one at a time.  You could see the anxiety  in her face, but she braved through it for the love and concern of a young man… our Adam.  I am going to include a few pictures of this encounter.

I want to thank Cari for all her love, support and inspiration… for our Adam.  I think it is worthy to note an insight that she shared with us.  As I had mentioned in a previous post, Cari was awakened in the middle of the night with an inspiring idea to help Adam with his speech therapy…the use of a cell phone to make a call.  Cari continued to received ideas (inspiration) to help Adam; These would arrive at various times and places.. but often in the middle of the night.  One of the inspiring moment that spoke to me is when Cindy recounted some of Cari’s comments about receiving these inspirations.

After reading this blog and realizing how many people were praying and fasting for Adam, she stated something to the following: “how could I not receive ideas and inspiration with so many people praying for him.” 

Cari, Thank you for going the extra mile and listening to the ideas in the middle of the night to help our son.  Thank you for everything.. Good luck on the race next weekend… we will continue run our race here.

It is 1am in the morning, Adam and I are both shaking with emotions as the tears flow freely.  I just had a moment in time with my son that will stay with me throughout the eternities. It was through the kindness of Tim and Glorimar that we watched this youtube video that they put together for Adam and posted on youtube.

Tears flowed from Adam’s eyes, as they did from mine while we watched in silence and listened to the attached music… We hugged each other and cried… we shook in each others arms… it was so wonderful and neither of us wanted to let go… I had a glimpse of the other side… just for a moment… and it was wonderful.  I can not explain the depth of love, compassion and goodness I felt as we were father and son again.  The real miracle is that Adam understood it all… Adam was also showing emotions, real emotions… this is the first time since being in the hospital that he has cried… he has not cried from the extreme pain or discomfort of his surgeries nor the pain of the swelling around his brain, but he was moved to crying now… no he was moved to weeping by this touching video and the kindness of others …His mind is grasping the new and forging ahead.  I am so humbled and so grateful for all your prayers and the miracle Heavenly Father has given us.

If you get a moment please take a look..  Thank you.  Mike

The power of inspiration in our lives, in our families, in our culture and in our history can not be over looked or discounted for the impact it has had on all of us.

What is inspiration? Inspiration is basically insights, thoughts and feelings that arrive to your mind and heart with such impact, power and  clarity that they are easily distinguished from our normal neural activity; Upon receipt they should be pondered for action.

Inspiration arrives, when it arrives; It can ride into your dreams in the middle of the night while in a deep sleep, it can distill upon your mind in the quiet moments of the morning, settling in with a comfortable assurance; You might be driving down a busy highway and a sudden burst of insight flow into your mind like the rushing waters of Niagara… filling your soul with a with a peace and confidence of understanding.  When it arrives you know it immediately,  you feel it, you are uplifted with the knowledge it has brought: it has given you a much needed insight for the situation at hand.

The Bible is an inspired book of actions which were preluded by the inspiration of prophets over a number of millennia.  God would inspire his chosen servants to direct His people in the pathways of safety… if they listen and obeyed they were protected, if the people chose to disregard His guidance they fell into harms way.  The foundation and formation of our country was guided by inspiration; The Founding Fathers often referred to their inspiration and guidance as coming from a higher power.  In our daily lives we are able to touch others or be touched by them with the inspiration we or they have received.

Adam is suffering from a loss or is experiencing a deficit in his speech due to the removal of areas of his brain.  We count our blessings as he still has most of his motor skills, his ability to hear and understand most of our conversations, he is able to walk and is gaining strength daily in a number of areas. Yet one of our major concerns has to do with the recovery of his speech.

The doctors have ordered speech therapy twice a day…Over the past few days I have included a few video clips of Adam going through this therapy.  This past week, Cari has been his main speech therapist, each therapy session lasts between 10 and 20 minutes.  Cari, will take simple objects along with the name of that object written on a flash card and show them to Adam.  The idea behind this is for Adam to try to associate in his mind the actual object with the written text of the object.  Even though he has lost some of his abilities to find a word for an object he still knows what that object is.. so by showing him the actual object and a written flash card of the object we hope that he will build the new pathways in his brain in order to form new associations.

The objects are very simple.. a ball, a cup, a toothbrush, etc. along with these Cari will use a book with simple animal drawings.. much like you would find in a book for a 4 year old.  Adam is asked to pull the picture out of the book… held in with velcro.. and tell her what the name of the animal is. The pictures include a monkey, a cat, a dog, a snake, etc… so far the progress has been slow… until… INSPIRIATION arrived.

Adam is having difficulty in speaking, every so often he will say a word or two… maybe a phrase he had said a number of times.  You could see the frustration in his eyes, in his facial expressions and in his body language.  After his frustration would reach a certain level with a particular word, he would say “whatever.”  This “whatever” was becoming the norm and not the exception.  Finally Cari and Adam came to an agreement that Adam would be limited to saying only 10 “whatever’s” for the day… Of course Adam wanted the limit to be 40…but they settled in on 10.  Progress was slow until one night when inspiration came in the dark sleepy hours of the night to a caring speech therapist.

As Cari related it to me, she woke up in the middle of the night with a clear picture in her mind what was needed for Adam… A Cell Phone.. A phone conversation.  It was so clear.. most of our communications to each other requires us to concentrate on the conversations we are having… The harder Adam concentrated the more frustrated he became because he could not find the words to speak when being asked.. in his mind he knows what the words are, but the connections from thought to speech has been severed. In addition, having someone right there in front of him… waiting for him to respond… watching him, added extra pressure to the situation, making it more frustrating for him.

Then Cari had the inspritation to use a phone conversation to help Adam to communicate and to begin to make the connections in his head.  When we talk on the phone our conversations can be somewhat automatic, they have to be… at least in part; we are time sharing our brains with our immediate surroundings.. our visual, our audio, our physical senses… an example of using all these in a combination would be talking on the cell phone while driving a car down a busy interstate….as we continue to talk,  we are able to perform other functions.  The other functions take a measure of our cognitive ability.. so we have to be on automatic, at times, while talking on the phone.

I called Cindy to tell her the game plan and what we were trying to accomplish.. She was in.  I gave Adam my cell phone, after unlocking it I asked him to give mom a call.  For the first few seconds he stumbled on the numbers, not quite dialing the correct order.  I softly offered a few suggestions and he got her number dialed in no time… I was amazed!

After dialing her cell phone number he put the phone up to his ear like it was second nature.  Cindy answered the phone and Adam said…”hey, how’s it going?’ as if the clock had been rolled backed two weeks.  Adam uses this phrase 90% of the time when calling someone in his initial greeting.  Cari and I were standing off to the side and were stunned.. we just smiled at each other and glowed with excitement.  Can this be? Adam and Cindy kept the conversation going for a few minutes… not all of Adam’s conversation was perfect, much of his responses were, “yes, no, maybe.. we’ll see” etc…But they were words connected to the thoughts.  At the end of the conversation Cindy must have said that she loved him, because his response was “I love you to.”

I can not tell you the joy I felt to see my little boy speak again, even in little sentences… then to hear him say to Cindy “I love you to” …I knew  that he knew what was going on for the first time.  INSPIRATION received in the middle of the night from a caring therapist put our feet back on the ground … from the small and simple things come great victories.

INSPIRATION…  If you go back a few posts I wrote about a small, yet beautiful inspiration that Cindy had while driving home from the hospital one day.  She was given a wonderful insight into Adam’s future with an analogy of a caterpillar in a cocoon who will emerge as a beautiful butterfly.  The more I pondered this the more I began to see this transformation happening in Adam… I saw the immediate and I saw the future for this young man.  I saw him preaching the gospel, I saw him caring for others… I felt a family around him… some how, some way he was going to emerge from this silk sheeted cocoon of silence as a stronger, more compassionate, more insightful man.  I could not see the road, yet I felt its bumps and sensed some unimproved surfaces… but they were all navigable.

INSPIRATION: If I might offer a word of caution when it comes to inspiration.  As beautiful as it is; it can also be discouragingly out of place. I believe that we receive “good” inspiration from divine sources.  I spoke previously about the Holy Ghost or the Holy Spirit.  This divine inspiration, which leads us to good, comes from this Third Member of The Godhead… The Holy Ghost.

Now the word of caution: Beware of Counterfeits, for all things have their opposites.  There are forces which will try to inspire for the wrong purpose… judge them by their fruits.  Ask yourself: Are they self promoting? Do they seek their own glory? Do they wish to put themselves on center stage?  Are they seeking Gain or profit?  There was one a long time ago which tried to do all of these and because of his rebellion… he and a third of the host of heaven were cast down, out of the Father’s presence, for seeking their glory over that of our Father in Heaven.  The battle still rages, his goals are the same… Please beware of false inspirations… I would venture to say that  if you were listening to a hard rock song and felt inspired to do something crazy, that this inspiration is coming from the wrong source.

However, if you were pondering the life of the Savior and and had an inspired thought to help someone in need or to assist in a worthy cause;  That this inspiration is coming from the Holy Ghost.

The still small voice will visit you, will talk feelings to your heart and he will guide you… you will feel his warmth and his influence radiate about you… follow these feelings.  If we ignore them he will leave you… he will never be too far away so invite him back.

INSPIRATION is a wonderful guide… it is a blessing from above.  Civilizations have been built upon it and have flourished when followed, but when divine inspiration is disregarded as old fashion, societies change and begin a darken downward slope.

I am grateful for the simple inspiration I have both seen and experienced during this short time that Adam has been in the hospital… it is nothing less than amazing.  I have seen the work of angels, both seen and unseen lending helping hands to a poor worried old man in pain for his son, his one and only son.

Faith displaces dispair. Light removes darkness.  How grateful I am for my faith and for the light and knowledge that has been given to us. How grateful I am for divine inspiration to move our lives in a better direction.

A Smile That INSPIRES

A friend of Adam sent this to us:

Do You Know A Hero?

Not every Marine is a hero. During field training exercises at Parris Island, South Carolina, one drill instructor threw a pine cone among the recruits and yelled, “Grenade!” The trainees immediately turned away and hit the ground. “Just as I suspected,” chided the drill instructor. “Not a hero among you! Didn’t anyone want to jump on that grenade to save the others?”
A little later the instructor tossed another pine cone and yelled, “Grenade!” This time, all the recruits but one jumped on the “explosive.”

“Why are you still standing there?” the DI demanded.

“Sir,” the recruit replied, “someone had to live to tell about it.”

Not everyone is a hero. But then, not every hero jumps on grenades, pulls terrified children from burning buildings, or wears an impressive uniform.

Do you know a hero? I am not asking you to simply name a favorite celebrity. There is a difference.

Do you know a hero? I think perhaps you do. Heroes, you see, can be found in some of the most unexpected places. I knew a young mother who was slowly dying of cancer, yet she put aside her pain long enough every day to smile and laugh with her children. She tried hard every day to bring sunshine into the gloomy hospital room when her family was present. And I watched her husband fill the roles of single parent and financial provider, and still spend every remaining moment sitting at his mate’s bedside, valiantly encouraging and offering whatever hope he could muster.

I knew a talented teacher who could have worked at a far more lucrative profession, yet was determined to stay in a disadvantaged school in the hope that she could make a difference in a difficult situation. She did it for her students.

I’ve known other heroes, too.

You may have noticed – many of the world’s true heroes will never be confused with action figures. Most have never been to battle, competed athletically nor sung in a pop band. But they have faced nearly impossible challenges with unimaginable determination and courage. They found what it takes to bear the unbearable, forgive the unforgivable, love the unlovable, outlast the unendurable or defeat the undefeatable. And often they do it for the sake of others.

Do you know a hero? Maybe one lives in your home. And perhaps one even looks back at you from the mirror. For it is in everyday battles of the spirit that true wars are fought and won. And it is those real-life heroes who give the rest of us hope and remind us that anything is possible.

Do you know a hero? I think you do.

I know a hero…. I have a hero… His name is Adam.

I love you son… Keep up the good fight… Tomorrow will be a better day.