I cannot begin to express the jubilation I feel as I have sat down with Adam the past several nights and enjoyed his company. I cannot express the overwhelming feelings that I feel from the power of united prayer… your prayers and ours… Thank you.
We have our son back… back home and back with us. He knows his family; His mind is continually making new connections… Each and every day we are seeing progress in his object recognition and speaking. There are still times of difficulties and rough roads ahead, but these paths are become smoother with the passage of time. Adam’s road is beginning to be more level as the Master Road Builder continues His gentle grading of the path ahead; As the time passes, fleeting minutes and hours will leave thoughts, words and sentences in their wake for him to build upon.
It’s been two weeks and a day from Adam’s last surgery. We brought him home this past Saturday, just 11 days after the surgery where the doctors removed several areas of Adam’s brain. He continues his upward progress with a smile of a surety and the certainty of true faith…. Thank you Adam.. we love you.
Here is a message from Adam just two weeks and a day after his surgery.
Last week President Allan Pratt called me at the hospital and asked if I would put together a few thoughts on the topic of Hope; In addition would I be willing to share my thoughts with some of the brethren we serve with…I said I would do my best.
I struggled for inspiration on what to say and how to say it… late Saturday night I went to bed still empty of thoughts and direction on how to fulfill this assignment. After arising early Sunday morning I offered a prayer and a plea for help… In the still quiet hours of the morning I found the needed peace and knowledge I was seeking.
By the gentle nudging and request of Cindy I am including a few of these thoughts here for others to read… I hope you don’t mind as they all come from our experience with Adam and his journey.
At times, I believe that we can all lose a measure of hope; In this world there are so many conflicting messages.. for some their situation might even appear hopeless; Depression and Discouragement become twin sisters leading down a darkened staircase to the pit of Despair where a soul cries out for Hope.
I have seen Hope and I have seen Despair… I have seen Light and I have seen Darkness… their contrast is striking.
Faith, Hope and Charity:
Faith: Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ
Hope: Hope in the Atonement of Jesus Christ
Charity: The pure love of Christ
My desire is to address HOPE and why the Atonement of Jesus Christ is so fundamental in finding HOPE for each and every one of us.
God created this earth for us; We are to experience for ourselves this mortal experience; We are to learn from our choices… the lessons we learn while sojourning through this life will be a benchmark for our learning in the next life.
Adam and Eve partook of the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden; As a consequence of their action they were no longer innocent, they became mortal and left Eden. Adam and Eve were now able to know the difference between good and evil, which allowed Sin to slip into the world. They were now mortal; Death followed the fall and is bequeath upon all. Sin and Death were now part of our eternal journey.
A Savior was needed: An earth had been created for us to inhabit: Adam and Eve were now mortal, thus all of their offspring would inherit this mortality; they would inherit mortal bodies and be subject to death. In addition to death, the knowledge of good and evil was introduced, all the sons of Adam and all the daughters of Eve would be able to choose for themselves between good and evil. Sin had entered into the world. Most of our hopelessness extends from these two Titans of Unhappiness.
Those who choose darkness over light; Those who choose evil over good and those who willfully choose contrary to the will of God make themselves unclean and unable to return to the presence of the Father. Our ultimate goal is to return to and live with God; to live in eternal happiness with Him: But if we are unclean we cannot enter back into His presence.
“And no unclean thing can enter into his kingdom:…” (3 Ne 27: 19)
Christ in Gethsemane
A Savior was needed:
A Savior was needed to overcome the effects of Sin.. to become clean again… and to overcome the effects of death… that we might live again with Him.
The Atonement of Jesus Christ overcomes the effects of Sin… if we will repent. He took upon himself our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane if we will come unto Him, Accept Him as our Savior and Repent of our wrong doings.
“And no unclean thing can enter into his kingdom; therefore nothing entereth into his rest save it be those who have washed their garments in my blood, because of their faith, and the repentance of all their sins, and their faithfulness unto the end.” (3 Ne 27:19)
Jesus Christ also overcame the bonds of death by willingly giving up his life on the Cruel Cross of Calvary; no man took his life from him; his life he freely offered for you and I:
“No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.” (John 10: 18)
On the Third Day Jesus was resurrected, His spirit and body rejoined never to be parted again. He broke the bands of death, he being the first fruits of the resurrection. This gift of resurrection is a free gift to all.
Resurrected Savior
Even though we suffer through severe physical ailments, we shall all live again… We have HOPE.
The Three D’s: 3D’s
Despair, Disappointment, and Discouragement:
My experience in the hospital with Adam has amplified my understanding of the three D’s and the hopelessness some individuals experience.
I saw individuals who struggled with mortality and the finite aspects of this life… I understand this; Our feelings run deep and our desires for life flow strong. When threatened with a loss of a loved one or a body in an altered physical state, our emotional pain and uncertainties sink our “hope” to new lows… Despair, Discouragement and Disappointment can set in… it is a pain which finds no comfort…But there is a comfort if we will allow the Atonement of our Savior to apply the Balm of Gilead in our lives. This life is meant to be finite… it will pass, and we will live again because the chains of death have been unlocked; Death has lost its sting.
Adam brought death into the world which passes to all his posterity; Christ took the darkness out of death that all might live again in the light. Death was conquered by the resurrection when Jesus rose from the tomb on the third day.
“‘For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.” (1Cor 15:22)
Sin: Sin is acting against or contrary to God’s will.
Sin leads us on a path which ends in despair, depression and disappointment…. unhappiness. You can see the effects of sin in the world around us: observe the rise of the moral decline compared to the large numbers of those with low levels of hope. People seek to find happiness in that which is contrary to God’s will… they might find short-term relief from the 3D’s or find a perceived form of happiness for a season, but in the end, there is no happiness in sin; Seeking for hope in sin is contrary to eternal laws…. it will not happen.
The Atonement: It is through the Atonement that the gift to be forgiven is found; That the effects of sin can be overcome and we can find happiness, true happiness. It is through a “broken heart and contrite spirit” that we will come to our knees and seek forgiveness… it is then when we are sufficiently humble that we will find the Mercy and Grace of our Savior.
The Demands of Sin were answered in a Garden called Gethsemane; The Sting of Death has been neutralized by a glorious day in The Garden Tomb. The 3D’s of this life which plague us all are conquerable by the Atonement of Jesus Christ. HOPE is offered through His Atonement.
Where To Turn: It is very important to predetermine where you will turn in times of trouble. Will you turn towards the Savior for real hope or will you turn to the world which offers an ever changing and fading portfolio of terminal philosophies?
Goodness Of Others: My hope has been renewed through this ordeal in the goodness of others. I have seen their faith, I have heard their prayers and I have received their uplifting words. Members of our family and of our church have pulled together; They have fasted and prayed for Adam all the while working on their own trials. Without asking they have put Adam’s name on most of the temple rolls across this country.
Members of other congregations and communities that I have never met nor do I know have been united in prayer for our son out of sheer goodness of soul.
I met Jay on the phone; Jay is the Chaplin for Carl Black GMC. He was very understanding of our situation; he was willing to ask his connections of over 5000 individuals to pray for Adam…Then he offered a prayer for Adam on the phone while he was driving…
I have seen and heard corporate executives write and speak of our Savior and offer their prayers in behalf of our son; A politically incorrect action in a politically correct world… but it was the right thing to do and they did it.
Thank you all so much.
Miracles: Miracles do happen; Offering Hope to all who can see them.
Miracles happen each and every day around us… if we know where to look or what we are looking for. Our son went into the hospital on a Wednesday, while there had two major brain surgeries where several parts of his brain were removed. He left the hospital 18 days after entering… This is a miracle. Through the small and simple… GREAT things are realized.
Miracle of Prayer: There is power in prayer… there is power in united prayers… Miracles are brought about through prayer. Thank you for your prayers.
Inspiration: Hope can present itself in many forms, I found hope arriving in the form of inspired ideas from others. Listen and watch as others can bring much needed inspiration into your life. We have received great help and hope from others these past few weeks. From Armando suggesting Adam drink “ensure” when he could not keep other foods down. Adam was in desperate need of nutrition, but was not able to keep the food in his stomach, nor did he feel like eating in the days following surgery due to his nausea. It was by inspiration that Armando as he was helping us with Adam when we mentioned about Adam not being able to eat. He quickly stated that we ought to try “ensure” as it worked for him when he was in the hospital after his brain surgery… It worked well for Adam… it was the first thing in days that Adam was able to keep down.
Inspiration that came and kept coming to our speech therapist. The inspiration and the love of Lindsey, our nurse, who would nurture Adam back to strength.. always optimistic and hopeful for Adam’s recovery… This gave us such great hope.
The Three P’s”: Prayer, Priesthood and Patriarchal Blessings
Prayer: The Power of prayer cannot be overstated. Pray, Pray often and be unified in your Prayers.
Priesthood: Priesthood is God’s authority given to man to act in His name. Priesthood allows us the opportunity to pronounce blessings upon the sick and afflicted; To bless those who are Discouraged, or in Despair or have found Disappointments. The Priesthood and the blessings it offers, brings the gift of HOPE in an unsettled world.
Patriarchal Blessings: Patriarchal Blessings are given by a Patriarch. A Patriarch is an office within the Priesthood and those who hold this responsibility have the authority to pronounce a blessing upon individuals which is a guide to them throughout their life… a simple way of stating it; A patriarchal blessing is a personal letter from Heavenly Father to help you as a guide in your life.
Adam has had his patriarchal blessing… The words from this blessing have been a great source of help in troubled waters. They have been a fountain of hope in rough seas.
The Three P’s are a wonderful remedy for the 3D’s.
The Scriptures: The written word from divine sources are a blanket of comfort on a cold lonely night. In our darkest hours, the words of the prophets bring light into night. If I might share one example;
While dealing with Adam and the many unknowns after surgery the world became very uncertain for us. Cindy is our optimist, I am a realist. Cindy is always looking for the good in the situation, I wanted to know the facts… I wanted to know what I was fighting to help Adam in his recovery. The doctors could not give us or did not want to give us the details of the last operation… we were worried. I expressed this to Cindy, she sweetly looked at the positives… even though we had to stretch to find them. I had cast doubt into her mind concerning Adam and the extent of damages and other possibilities from this surgery…. Unintentionally, I had taken some hope away from her.
I had left the hospital for the night, leaving her with come uncertainties… Where did she turn in a time of despair? …She turned to the scriptures. The Lord was kind to her that night and guided her fingers as she opened the holy writ. As she opened the scriptures up she looked upon them and read:
“Verily I say unto you my friends fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;
Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament—the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.
Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord.” (D&C 98: 1-3)
Her Heart and Soul found comfort and HOPE on that lonely night in the scriptures.
There is HOPE in the Atonement… Have assurance that Christ will fulfill all of His Promises. He has conquered all that we cannot; He offers it as a free gift to you and I.
Where do you turn in the changing seasons of life? Will they be a smooth highway or the roads less traveled?
Adam Came Home Yesterday!!!!!!!! Hurray!!!… It is so nice to have him home.
However, before coming home we had to accomplish some of the normal house keeping items at the hospital prior to leaving…. paperwork, discharge instructions, etc..
Cari the speech therapist, one of the “above the mile makers” in Adam’s life came by on her day off to spend some time with him…. during this visit I found out that Cari is training for a Triathlon…WOW. .. She had to accomplish her morning workout and other normal Saturday activities prior to coming to the hospital… her triathlon race is next week.
Another one of Cari’s “out of the box” ideas for Adam was to have him work with his snakes…she wanted to have several of Adam’s snakes brought to the hospital and use them for his speech therapy. Prior to Adam’s surgery he knew everything about his snakes; he knows them inside and out. He could tell you where they were from, how big they would get, what they ate, when they slept and just about everything else you would possibly want to know.. or maybe not want to know about them…. so the logic was this; By working with his snakes, those that he was familiar with, might help him with his word associations and bring about those needed connections; connecting the new neural highways in his relearning brain.
Cindy worked it out a few days prior with Cari to bring two of his snakes in and have us all meet down stairs in the outside resting area…. just off the main lobby of the Disney Pavilion. It all worked out, Cindy was there with the snakes, Cari and Adam were there in the wheel chair and the show began.
Adam was happy to see some of his pets, but was lacking a little energy and the ability to focus.. you could see him trying… trying to push through this, all the while keeping a smile on his face. His words and memory were not as good as we had hoped to achieve… but it is all a step in the right direction. Adam is getting better everyday and will someday reach a new height. He will speak, he will drive, he will share his testimony of the Savior to many people in many places. As much as I would love to have it all right now, I realize this is not how the Lord works. In my tutoring, I have learned that the Lord does not teach from cliff notes. His work of molding men will take time, pressure and patience: The ingredients needed to refine the impurities out of our mortal sojourn.
Cari was a real champion… she does not like snakes… but was willing to go the extra mile for our Adam. She looked at them, she got close to them and finally she held them… one at a time. You could see the anxiety in her face, but she braved through it for the love and concern of a young man… our Adam. I am going to include a few pictures of this encounter.
I want to thank Cari for all her love, support and inspiration… for our Adam. I think it is worthy to note an insight that she shared with us. As I had mentioned in a previous post, Cari was awakened in the middle of the night with an inspiring idea to help Adam with his speech therapy…the use of a cell phone to make a call. Cari continued to received ideas (inspiration) to help Adam; These would arrive at various times and places.. but often in the middle of the night. One of the inspiring moment that spoke to me is when Cindy recounted some of Cari’s comments about receiving these inspirations.
After reading this blog and realizing how many people were praying and fasting for Adam, she stated something to the following: “how could I not receive ideas and inspiration with so many people praying for him.”
Cari, Thank you for going the extra mile and listening to the ideas in the middle of the night to help our son. Thank you for everything.. Good luck on the race next weekend… we will continue run our race here.
It is 1am in the morning, Adam and I are both shaking with emotions as the tears flow freely. I just had a moment in time with my son that will stay with me throughout the eternities. It was through the kindness of Tim and Glorimar that we watched this youtube video that they put together for Adam and posted on youtube.
Tears flowed from Adam’s eyes, as they did from mine while we watched in silence and listened to the attached music… We hugged each other and cried… we shook in each others arms… it was so wonderful and neither of us wanted to let go… I had a glimpse of the other side… just for a moment… and it was wonderful. I can not explain the depth of love, compassion and goodness I felt as we were father and son again. The real miracle is that Adam understood it all… Adam was also showing emotions, real emotions… this is the first time since being in the hospital that he has cried… he has not cried from the extreme pain or discomfort of his surgeries nor the pain of the swelling around his brain, but he was moved to crying now… no he was moved to weeping by this touching video and the kindness of others …His mind is grasping the new and forging ahead. I am so humbled and so grateful for all your prayers and the miracle Heavenly Father has given us.
If you get a moment please take a look.. Thank you. Mike
The power of inspiration in our lives, in our families, in our culture and in our history can not be over looked or discounted for the impact it has had on all of us.
What is inspiration? Inspiration is basically insights, thoughts and feelings that arrive to your mind and heart with such impact, power and clarity that they are easily distinguished from our normal neural activity; Upon receipt they should be pondered for action.
Inspiration arrives, when it arrives; It can ride into your dreams in the middle of the night while in a deep sleep, it can distill upon your mind in the quiet moments of the morning, settling in with a comfortable assurance; You might be driving down a busy highway and a sudden burst of insight flow into your mind like the rushing waters of Niagara… filling your soul with a with a peace and confidence of understanding. When it arrives you know it immediately, you feel it, you are uplifted with the knowledge it has brought: it has given you a much needed insight for the situation at hand.
The Bible is an inspired book of actions which were preluded by the inspiration of prophets over a number of millennia. God would inspire his chosen servants to direct His people in the pathways of safety… if they listen and obeyed they were protected, if the people chose to disregard His guidance they fell into harms way. The foundation and formation of our country was guided by inspiration; The Founding Fathers often referred to their inspiration and guidance as coming from a higher power. In our daily lives we are able to touch others or be touched by them with the inspiration we or they have received.
Adam is suffering from a loss or is experiencing a deficit in his speech due to the removal of areas of his brain. We count our blessings as he still has most of his motor skills, his ability to hear and understand most of our conversations, he is able to walk and is gaining strength daily in a number of areas. Yet one of our major concerns has to do with the recovery of his speech.
The doctors have ordered speech therapy twice a day…Over the past few days I have included a few video clips of Adam going through this therapy. This past week, Cari has been his main speech therapist, each therapy session lasts between 10 and 20 minutes. Cari, will take simple objects along with the name of that object written on a flash card and show them to Adam. The idea behind this is for Adam to try to associate in his mind the actual object with the written text of the object. Even though he has lost some of his abilities to find a word for an object he still knows what that object is.. so by showing him the actual object and a written flash card of the object we hope that he will build the new pathways in his brain in order to form new associations.
The objects are very simple.. a ball, a cup, a toothbrush, etc. along with these Cari will use a book with simple animal drawings.. much like you would find in a book for a 4 year old. Adam is asked to pull the picture out of the book… held in with velcro.. and tell her what the name of the animal is. The pictures include a monkey, a cat, a dog, a snake, etc… so far the progress has been slow… until… INSPIRIATION arrived.
Adam is having difficulty in speaking, every so often he will say a word or two… maybe a phrase he had said a number of times. You could see the frustration in his eyes, in his facial expressions and in his body language. After his frustration would reach a certain level with a particular word, he would say “whatever.” This “whatever” was becoming the norm and not the exception. Finally Cari and Adam came to an agreement that Adam would be limited to saying only 10 “whatever’s” for the day… Of course Adam wanted the limit to be 40…but they settled in on 10. Progress was slow until one night when inspiration came in the dark sleepy hours of the night to a caring speech therapist.
As Cari related it to me, she woke up in the middle of the night with a clear picture in her mind what was needed for Adam… A Cell Phone.. A phone conversation. It was so clear.. most of our communications to each other requires us to concentrate on the conversations we are having… The harder Adam concentrated the more frustrated he became because he could not find the words to speak when being asked.. in his mind he knows what the words are, but the connections from thought to speech has been severed. In addition, having someone right there in front of him… waiting for him to respond… watching him, added extra pressure to the situation, making it more frustrating for him.
Then Cari had the inspritation to use a phone conversation to help Adam to communicate and to begin to make the connections in his head. When we talk on the phone our conversations can be somewhat automatic, they have to be… at least in part; we are time sharing our brains with our immediate surroundings.. our visual, our audio, our physical senses… an example of using all these in a combination would be talking on the cell phone while driving a car down a busy interstate….as we continue to talk, we are able to perform other functions. The other functions take a measure of our cognitive ability.. so we have to be on automatic, at times, while talking on the phone.
I called Cindy to tell her the game plan and what we were trying to accomplish.. She was in. I gave Adam my cell phone, after unlocking it I asked him to give mom a call. For the first few seconds he stumbled on the numbers, not quite dialing the correct order. I softly offered a few suggestions and he got her number dialed in no time… I was amazed!
After dialing her cell phone number he put the phone up to his ear like it was second nature. Cindy answered the phone and Adam said…”hey, how’s it going?’ as if the clock had been rolled backed two weeks. Adam uses this phrase 90% of the time when calling someone in his initial greeting. Cari and I were standing off to the side and were stunned.. we just smiled at each other and glowed with excitement. Can this be? Adam and Cindy kept the conversation going for a few minutes… not all of Adam’s conversation was perfect, much of his responses were, “yes, no, maybe.. we’ll see” etc…But they were words connected to the thoughts. At the end of the conversation Cindy must have said that she loved him, because his response was “I love you to.”
I can not tell you the joy I felt to see my little boy speak again, even in little sentences… then to hear him say to Cindy “I love you to” …I knew that he knew what was going on for the first time. INSPIRATION received in the middle of the night from a caring therapist put our feet back on the ground … from the small and simple things come great victories.
INSPIRATION… If you go back a few posts I wrote about a small, yet beautiful inspiration that Cindy had while driving home from the hospital one day. She was given a wonderful insight into Adam’s future with an analogy of a caterpillar in a cocoon who will emerge as a beautiful butterfly. The more I pondered this the more I began to see this transformation happening in Adam… I saw the immediate and I saw the future for this young man. I saw him preaching the gospel, I saw him caring for others… I felt a family around him… some how, some way he was going to emerge from this silk sheeted cocoon of silence as a stronger, more compassionate, more insightful man. I could not see the road, yet I felt its bumps and sensed some unimproved surfaces… but they were all navigable.
INSPIRATION: If I might offer a word of caution when it comes to inspiration. As beautiful as it is; it can also be discouragingly out of place. I believe that we receive “good” inspiration from divine sources. I spoke previously about the Holy Ghost or the Holy Spirit. This divine inspiration, which leads us to good, comes from this Third Member of The Godhead… The Holy Ghost.
Now the word of caution: Beware of Counterfeits, for all things have their opposites. There are forces which will try to inspire for the wrong purpose… judge them by their fruits. Ask yourself: Are they self promoting? Do they seek their own glory? Do they wish to put themselves on center stage? Are they seeking Gain or profit? There was one a long time ago which tried to do all of these and because of his rebellion… he and a third of the host of heaven were cast down, out of the Father’s presence, for seeking their glory over that of our Father in Heaven. The battle still rages, his goals are the same… Please beware of false inspirations… I would venture to say that if you were listening to a hard rock song and felt inspired to do something crazy, that this inspiration is coming from the wrong source.
However, if you were pondering the life of the Savior and and had an inspired thought to help someone in need or to assist in a worthy cause; That this inspiration is coming from the Holy Ghost.
The still small voice will visit you, will talk feelings to your heart and he will guide you… you will feel his warmth and his influence radiate about you… follow these feelings. If we ignore them he will leave you… he will never be too far away so invite him back.
INSPIRATION is a wonderful guide… it is a blessing from above. Civilizations have been built upon it and have flourished when followed, but when divine inspiration is disregarded as old fashion, societies change and begin a darken downward slope.
I am grateful for the simple inspiration I have both seen and experienced during this short time that Adam has been in the hospital… it is nothing less than amazing. I have seen the work of angels, both seen and unseen lending helping hands to a poor worried old man in pain for his son, his one and only son.
Faith displaces dispair. Light removes darkness. How grateful I am for my faith and for the light and knowledge that has been given to us. How grateful I am for divine inspiration to move our lives in a better direction.
Not every Marine is a hero. During field training exercises at Parris Island, South Carolina, one drill instructor threw a pine cone among the recruits and yelled, “Grenade!” The trainees immediately turned away and hit the ground. “Just as I suspected,” chided the drill instructor. “Not a hero among you! Didn’t anyone want to jump on that grenade to save the others?”
A little later the instructor tossed another pine cone and yelled, “Grenade!” This time, all the recruits but one jumped on the “explosive.”
“Why are you still standing there?” the DI demanded.
“Sir,” the recruit replied, “someone had to live to tell about it.”
Not everyone is a hero. But then, not every hero jumps on grenades, pulls terrified children from burning buildings, or wears an impressive uniform.
Do you know a hero? I am not asking you to simply name a favorite celebrity. There is a difference.
Do you know a hero? I think perhaps you do. Heroes, you see, can be found in some of the most unexpected places. I knew a young mother who was slowly dying of cancer, yet she put aside her pain long enough every day to smile and laugh with her children. She tried hard every day to bring sunshine into the gloomy hospital room when her family was present. And I watched her husband fill the roles of single parent and financial provider, and still spend every remaining moment sitting at his mate’s bedside, valiantly encouraging and offering whatever hope he could muster.
I knew a talented teacher who could have worked at a far more lucrative profession, yet was determined to stay in a disadvantaged school in the hope that she could make a difference in a difficult situation. She did it for her students.
I’ve known other heroes, too.
You may have noticed – many of the world’s true heroes will never be confused with action figures. Most have never been to battle, competed athletically nor sung in a pop band. But they have faced nearly impossible challenges with unimaginable determination and courage. They found what it takes to bear the unbearable, forgive the unforgivable, love the unlovable, outlast the unendurable or defeat the undefeatable. And often they do it for the sake of others.
Do you know a hero? Maybe one lives in your home. And perhaps one even looks back at you from the mirror. For it is in everyday battles of the spirit that true wars are fought and won. And it is those real-life heroes who give the rest of us hope and remind us that anything is possible.
Do you know a hero? I think you do.
I know a hero…. I have a hero… His name is Adam.
I love you son… Keep up the good fight… Tomorrow will be a better day.
In life our perspective often depends upon our vantage point. If you are at the base of a mountain… all you can see is the mountain and maybe some of the empty sky above. If you are on top of the mountain the world becomes a different place. The vast beauty of the rocks, hills, valleys, rivers and sky all blend into your senses to capture a moment that you wish you could wrap your arms around and hold forever.
At the top of the mountain you clearly see the trees and the paths leading to your position…it is all so clear… yet from the bottom of the mountain one might only see a rocky dirt trail being blocked by a few fallen trees.. The trees are tall and can block your view of the path ahead.
The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches me to see the forest from the trees… the details are all there, but the overall picture is clear whether I find myself at the base of the mountain or at it’s peek.
Adam continues to inspire me with his unconquerable spirit… Without going into all the details… just know that Adam is competing in his own personal olympic trial… his own private race for the gold.
A sweet sister sent this to Adam and our family… may I please offer it up for you to read. Tears fell from my eyes as I read her words.. Thank you so much….
“From down in the trenches you see things in real time. The perspective you keep is inspiring.”
“Out here the progress is miraculous. I see a strong young man who is fighting hard. I see a handsome young man who smiling, walking, doing leg lifts (wow!), and creating a very detailed drawing. From here is it like watching an Olympic athlete train for the gold. Yesterday we watched Missy Franklin swim 2 events within 15 minutes of each other. That has rarely been done in Olympic swimming because the athletes usually need time to rest between events.”
“The first event was to qualify for the final in the 200 meter freestyle. The 2nd event was the final 100 backstroke. Both events were endurance races and would drain her energy significantly. She was determined to do it.”
“She took the advice of coaches who said to 1) take it one event at a time and 2) to relax as much as possible between events. She did just that. She took one race at a time. She relaxed her body and mind in between. She ended up qualifying for the final in the freestyle and winning the gold in the backstroke!”
“This Olympian reminds me of you Adam! Except your events have much higher stakes and far greater rewards, and more far reaching effects on the people who know you. Just remember to take one event at a time and relax in between. You have a huge cheering section! We have so much confidence in you! Just keep swimming.”
During the war not everyday ends up in a firefight; I find ourselves in-between battles… which is not a bad thing…. but what do you do during this down time?
Any good Marine would want to take inventory of his gear, weapon, ammo and supplies. If you had the option you would change clothes; not the type of clothes changing that involves when Jones changes with Smith; Smith changes with Brown and Brown changes with Jones… You want a fresh change of clothes….you would want to get out of the elements and stay dry. Clean your weapon and get some dry socks on… with a little luck you might even get a hot meal.
Today we had some down time… time to take inventory of the situation, check our gear and re-evaluate our game plan.
Adam worked on a few areas today; Art, Speech and Eating. There was a volunteer in the hospital who is an artist… she works with the kids in the hospital by providing art therapy. Adam loves to draw and this sparked an interest in him. I wasn’t at the hospital at the time but Cindy tells me this was an enjoyable time for Adam; They worked at drawing a snake for over an hour and a half. I was able to see his work in progress: Attached is a picture of his drawing which is pretty darn good for a kid who just had two brain surgeries , who can not talk and is beginning to get his motor skills back.
Adam’s 1st Drawing
Shortly after the art session Adam’s speech therapist showed up and they worked on identifying objects and forming words. Slowly, Adam is making some progress… he still has difficulties in finding a word to associate with an object. If I ask him where the TV is he can point to it, but if I point to the TV and ask him what it is, he struggles to find the word to describe the object. This is a source of frustration for him… you can see it in his eyes and in his expressions. He works hard in hiding his emotions from us and the others… I really don’t know why he does this, but Cindy seems to think that it is due to the fact that he does not want to disappoint anyone. The harder he tries the more frustrated he becomes… We have found that by not putting too much pressure on him when working on his speech he does much better… so we attempt to ask our questions in a more causal way… this seems to work best for him when trying to find his word associations.
Yesterday was a good day… another down day and a good time to take inventory and put some dry socks on. Adam, Cindy and Lindsey went for a stroll outside the hospital. Adam had to put on some dry socks… literally he had to put on socks… and his shorts and his shirt. Dressing himself was a big step forward.
The three of them went for a stroll… Adam kept pointing the way which was further and further away from the hospital… eventually they ended up by the lake… Lindsey asked Adam if she should go get her SUV and take him for a ride… Adam was all over that by the look on his face and the few words he could express… unfortunately the rules don’t allow a joy ride off campus… wait a minute… I did not know we had to follow rules during the down time… oh well.
Cindy and Adam on the stroll
Adam with a smile… The right side of his face is a little droopy. It will get better
Adam & Lindsey… We’ll miss you
We spoke with Dr. Lee today and he remains optimistic for Adam’s recovery… I know he was giving a couple of distressed parents a life line..My prayers tell me it is going to be ok.. but my heart still has it’s daily aches… I hold on to any good news or optimism… toss me that line.
Adam was able to keep some food down today… which is a blessing. A little mac and cheese from Lindsey and some Chicken Soup from Natasha Tate… Thanks Gal’s
Revaluation of the situation: Adam will need intensive speech therapy… At this point he will not be able to start school with the regular kids… but miracles can still happen.
Dry socks, shelter and hot meals… things are pretty good here.
Yesterday was better than the day before; Today will be better than yesterday; Tomorrow the sun will rise on a new and better day.
“We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.” (Articles of Faith #1) The Holy Ghost is the third member of the Godhead and it was he who Christ promised his disciples would come after He was gone.
After we are baptized we receive the “Gift of the Holy Ghost” which is a help and guide to us in this life. From the Holy Ghost, flow the Gifts of the Spirit to those who believe… “He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; …And… signs shall follow them that believe.” (Mark 16: 16-17) What are the Gifts of the Spirit? What are some of these signs or outward manifestations of these gifts? They are, in part, the following: Wisdom, Knowledge, Faith, Healing, Working Mighty Miracles, Prophesy, Beholding of Angels, Tongues, Interpretations of Tongues, etc..
When a parent has a child with a life changing situation or with a life threating illness they will do anything and everything to help that child. As a parent your emotions ache and cry out from the depths of your soul for your troubled child… you seek all available resources: Faith, doctors, medical journals, friends, internet and so forth… many find a renewed faith in God and call upon their Creator with pleads of help… there is an old saying that “there are no atheists in a fox hole,” we Marines choose to call it a “Fighting Hole,” and it is a hole, it is a pit, but this is where we parents have to fight from.
Here at the hospital, in the PICU, I see other parents and relatives of ill children fighting the battles and finding faith in their struggles… when your child is sick and fighting for their life, many find God or seek to renew that relationship they once had with Him.
“We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelist , and so forth.” (Articles of Faith #6)
I believe in God the Eternal Father and in His Son Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost. I believe in living Prophets and Apostles, I believe in Modern Revelation and I believe that the Gifts and Power of the Spirit are available to those who earnestly seek them and who are worthy of these gifts… if they seek them to bless the lives of others.
“We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.” (Article of Faith #7) and we are commanded to: “… seek ye earnestly the best gifts” (D&C 48: 8)
I seek after these gifts, for they are good gifts, but I do not seek them for myself; I seek them for our son and for the ability to bless others.. I seek the gift of healing from among these good gifts… but above all I seek to know the will of our Father in Heaven: Then the powers of heaven will be exercised correctly for him and for others.
I am not alone in wanting to heal my child.. here on this floor, in this hospital are parents who love their child and seek the same blessing of physical healing that I do for Adam. I would love for their burden to be made lighter.. I would love to see their smiles and hear their praises over the crying of hopelesness and the torment of sadness that serious illness brings.
Along with the normal gifts of the spirit that we usually associate them with, I think there are numerous other spiritual gifts that we might overlook… these are gifts that have been given to us individually to develop and use for the benefit of others. Among these gifts are some of the following: the gift to Love Others, the gift of Compassion, the gift of Concern, the gift to Listen, the gift of Speech, the gift to be Gentle, the gift of True Friendship, the gift of Charity.
Gifts of the Spirit are beautiful: Gifts are manifestations of qualities that are found in heaven; Gifts are given, in part, to help prepare us for the eternities.
Adam has lost his gift of speech…it was taken from him; he struggles for words, he struggles for language, he struggles for his gift of tongues, he struggles to communicate. I will yet see the blessings of heaven upon him and he will be blessed to speak again… He will yet be heard in many parts of the world; His testimony will be heard by many and they will hear it from his lips.
Again I am reminded that God often works in the simple to bring about the great… He show’s forth his works not in the loudness of the world or in the flashing lights of recognition, but in the quietness of the still small voice, the voice of the spirit that can pierce the soul to the very center.
I am grateful for the Holy Ghost and the gifts that are allotted to us to benefit others. There are many gifts, many which go unrecognized, but if we stop and ponder… which is another gift in itself… we will begin to have a better view of the divine around us.
Adam you will yet walk the walk and talk the talk… you will be healed; Adam, you will speak and you will fulfill your divine purposes… all according to the will of the Father.
Keep fighting from that “fighting hole” the battle is well on its way and you are doing wonderfully.
I believe Adam’s worst days are behind him now. As his swelling begins to diminish his pain will decrease; a decrease in pain means less pain meds and less anti-nausea meds. Getting off the meds will help him break through the haze of confusion he has been living in and begin to heal. My heart leapt with joy yesterday as Adam had a few minutes where he was alert and wanted us to talk to him. Mike and I sat on his bed, held his hands, and told him what a wonderful young man he is and how he has been an influence for good to many people. We spent time reading several comments people have written to him about how he has been an inspiration in their lives. A sweet, humble little smile came across his face and he just said, “wow, wow”. I could tell it meant a lot to him to hear these thoughtful words. The kind words of others are better than medicine; kind words uplift the soul and bring peace and joy. I could see this peace and joy in his eyes for a few moments, then he began to become weary, his eyes began to close as he faded off to sleep.
Adam Hawkes 