Adam in the PICU
Post surgery in the PICU
Its been 24 hours since we left home and began the drive to Florida hospital. In a way, leaving home yesterday was symbolic as it was the commencement of a journey we have been discussing, debating and praying about for months, if not years.
“Oh my goodness, did we do the right thing in having surgery?” were the thoughts that pierced my mind this morning as I looked over at Adam. The realization that there is no turning back, that we have crossed a point and taken a direction that can not be altered. If we tried to go back to what we have known and lived with for the past 10 years what would be the consequences… well we just can not go back, that’s all there is to it. The road we choose has options, but the options now are all different; there is a whole new set of rules and outcomes, actions vs reactions, choices and consequences; as with many things in life there are no guarantees. It all feels surreal yet the force of reality is ever-present pounding my emotions.
Adam has been living in a jungle, a rubber jungle. he has so many hoses, tubes, needles and wires connected to him; the nurses have to be careful every time they come in to adjust something as it ends up pulling or blocking another system.
The first day and first evening: The doctors had him on a number of pain medications, so he slept the better part of the time. He had a difficult time speaking, a low muffled voice carried over scratchy vocal cords. Only a few simple requests passed his lips, never really asking for much. He seems so vulnerable yet he is such an Ebenezer of strength. He patiently endures the physical trials which are heaped upon him without any complaints ever escaping his lips. What are his thoughts?… I have asked but only he knows.
The left side of his head is swollen and his left eye was forced shut by the swelling. This morning I was happy to see both eyes as some of the effects of the trauma are decreasing. They are not fully open but are getting better.
Yesterday he was unable to speak but very little, this morning I could hear his voice better; getting stronger but lacking strength to endure much conversation. His mind is understanding and responding.. but why shouldn’t it? The doctors only placed grids on the brain, they did not cut anything out. There is a concern of brain swelling, so I asked him questions to see if he understands; I watch his eye movements to see if they track; I rub his arms and feet to ensure he feels them… And he does…. Forever counting our blessings, as simple as they might be.
The effects of the anesthesia have caused him to feel nauseous, there are medicines which help with this. Adam has not eaten in a day and a half, he has tried, but the cracker or drink is still making him sick. Last night he threw up; since he can not move his head and body out-of-the-way it went all over… my heart just broke seeing him lay there with everything on him. I tried to clean up as much as I could… called for the nurse but they were slow in arriving.. 5 minutes. We had to change his sheets, gown and blankets.. not an easy task for a big kid like Adam who can’t really move without a lot of pain, then there are the concerns of his head, the wires coming out of his head and all the lines, tubes and needles plugged into him; we had to be careful.
I am sitting next to his bedside listening to him breath, it’s a bit heavy but that’s ok… he is resting at the moment, a short sleep induced by a dose of pain medicine administered via one of the IV ports. His right shoulder and arm are causing him a good amount of pain this morning; not sure why this is. I asked for a doctor, the doctor who is assigned to this floor; he never came and now Adam is asleep. I think we really got the “B” team on the night shift… that’s not very nice, I am grateful for their help.
I have tried to relay to Adam all of your prayers and well wishes. He is in a little too much pain and is a little to out of it to grasp all the love and concerns coming his way, but as he regains his cognitive abilities he will be grateful and pleased for all that each of you do and have said. Thank you all so much for thinking of him.
Adam Hawkes 
Thank you so much for sharing this, as difficult as the simple trials we personally face can be, we hardly realize what other’s have endured. Adam is an inspiration to me, to have had to deal with these experiences and still is such a humble, good young man. I am grateful to know him, and enjoyed getting to know the reptiles 🙂 He has such a good heart. No matter how difficult things get, I have come to learn and personally feel that if we focus our faith in Jesus Christ, if we let go of all our doubts and fears, and trust in Him, all things will work together for our good. Thank you for being such a great example to me, my thoughts and prayers go to you, Adam, and the family. What a great father he has, and a great Heavenly father.
Love,
Chris
Mike, Cindy & Family,
Just wanted you to know I say a prayer everyday for Adam and your entire family. I can’t imagine the strength of faith and Family that sustains you all during this tumultuous time. I too am an Eagle Scout and it was heartwarming to read your post on his project. Please let me know if I can do anything. Semper Fi, Terry.
Mike: Thanks for sharing with such an open heart. Adam is a lucky young man to have Cindy and you at his side. We’re pulling for you all. Jim R. (SWA)
He is in our prayers! We love him and are praying for him! We are hoping that everything runs quickly and smoothly and he can get home quickly! We are praying for all of you! Tinae & Steve Lowe