The Storms of Everest

A mountain was conquered today, the ascent was steep and the cost was great; but the emotional cost was shared by many, so the load was light. Today our son climbed a mountain and tonight we sit by his bedside. What a blessing it is just to hold his hand again, to see his face and to have him near.

I tell you that there is power in prayer; It was by the power of prayer; our united prayers that Adam came through this day.  It was by the blessings of the priesthood that he is here and his future is before him.  You built a ladder today through your prayers; a ladder our son was able to climb on this surgical ascension.  You fasted in faith for a miracle, and a miracle was given. We united our plead to the Father and he kindly heard our voices.

The climb was not without hazards, there were rocks to cross, ice bridges to span and storms to wade through yet we stayed mounted on the trail upward.

Adam was initially prepared for surgery this morning in his room at around 7am.  He only had a few hours of sleep from the night before.. we could not find the way into our dreams last night, sleep evaded us.  Cindy, Adam and I were all operating at a high energy level until around 1:30am, finally I stated we needed to get some sleep.  Adam wasn’t tired and wanted to talk more.

Before entering the hospital we thought it would be a good idea for Adam to come up with 10 goals that he wanted to accomplish after surgery.. our intent was to have a list of items that he would want to push himself towards to help in his recovery.  Before arriving here Adam only had written four goals.. so we worked on six more.  He was the one who reminded us to help him get this done.  He had several other items he wanted to talk about… especially about a couple of his nurses.

Before going to bed Adam insisted that I commit to give him a blessing shortly after surgery.  He was very directive in this request and uncharacteristically determined in it.  Of course I agreed.. I suppose he realized he would not have the ability to request it after surgery so he insisted the night before.

The time came when we had to leave the PICU room and head to the O.R. (operating room/area) the bed driver showed up and was being a little impatient with us… I suppose we were not helping his time line, nonetheless he was the bed driver and this was the few remaining moments we had with our son before heading off to the headmaster.  Something in the back of our minds was keeping him and us here… it was safe here, they were not going to cut on our boy, they only take care of him here;  they show him care and love. In my mind the journey to the O.R. was like the spanning of the ice bridge, it is unsafe and unknown.. danger was in that direction or at least the unknown of neurosurgery and the removing of brain tissue.

Lindsey, our nurse, went with us… she is able to bring a smile to Adam and he loves visiting with her about their bucket lists. For them the future holds noodling, swimming with sharks and bungee jumping,  Once at the O.R. Lindsey had to leave.. it was sad… but she will be back.

After all the paperwork had been signed, there was a short visit with the surgeon and anesthesiologist, then they came to take our boy away. I can not tell you how scary this is, how much inner turmoil you go through, how hard you try to hold back the tears, yet they rush to the surface as a torrent of emotions flow over you… still we had to let him go, we had to put our faith in God, and in the power of prayer to guide the surgeons hands.

The operation was scheduled to last 4-5 hours, he was to be out of surgery no later than 2pm local time.  We said our good byes; but they were not really a good-bye, more of we love you, we will be here when you come out and it will be alright… God is watching over you.

Cindy and I were exhausted but we couldn’t rest, we tried to stay busy but did not know what to do with ourselves.  But what felt right was that we should be together away from everything else.. we needed privacy.  This is a journey parents must take alone.. it is something that is difficult or impossible to share.  There are so many who offered their help… we were so grateful for those offers… but this seemed to be a journey we needed to do together and away from others.  I am not sure why it felt this way… maybe it is due to the fact that we helped create this wonderful boy, we brought him into the world and now we needed to be there for his rescue, for his wellbeing, for his Everest struggle.

I know that many of you followed Adam’s progress throughout the day… a surgery that was to take 4-5 hours, ended up taking 9 1/2 hours. We would get a call from the O.R. every 3 hours or so to let us know that Adam was OK… but why was it taking so long… Why so long.. what’s wrong.. you begin to question.  Your mind begins to speculate… if there is a void of information, thoughts and feeling begin to be sucked into this empty space… it becomes a negative pressure area pulling in thoughts and feelings from your mind and surroundings…your mind continuously works on filling the void; it strives to find an informational pressure balance… We had no good answers.

Dr. Lee did find us at 1pm in Adam’s room.  They had spent the entire morning mapping Adam’s brain, drawing the lines of demarcation. Taking extra care on a difficult case.  We so appreciated Dr. Lee’s visit. Adam was now in the hands of Dr. Baumgartner, the neurosurgeon. From about noon on Adam was being operated on by Dr. B.  We did not get to visit with Dr. B until the surgery was over.

Around 6:30pm Dr. B (neurosurgeon) came out of the O.R. to the waiting area and called us in.  My thoughts, my emotions were all numb by this time.  Dr. B handled us well and explained the surgery… I could tell the surgery took a toll on him, yet he was still full of energy. He stated that it had been a more complicated case than originally planned.  Adam’s brain anatomy was not normal… the normal land marks they use for surgery were not in the normal places.  Dr. Lee and Dr. B had to find, understand and mark these new landmarks prior to any cutting.  I appreciate their diligence and care in making the extra effort for our boy.

As Dr. B explained what was done to Adam, my mind raced, my heart hurt and my emotions returned.  Adam had a large part of his left temporal lobe removed.. the forward part of  the temporal lobe was removed along with some of the lower areas… they kept the language area in tact.  This was another complication they ran into… One of Adam’s troubled areas or one of the areas that is causing his seizures is located on and around the language area of the left temporal lobe… in addition his hippocampus is under this language area.  With the difference in Adam’s anatomy Dr. B was unable to remove his hippocampus.  He attempted to resect the hippocampus by going in through the top part of the temporal lobe, in through the side and under the temporal lobe but was unable to do so without causing damage to the language area.  He took the conservative position and left it in tact; He left it alone.

I think this will turn out to be an unseen blessing.  During the mapping stage this morning in the O.R. Adam’s left temporal lobe showed a good amount of abnormal electrical activity, after the surgery they tested this area again and it was “quiet”… no noise.  If in the future this area resurrects itself they can go back in with computer guided surgical instruments and remove the hippocampus.

The other area of resection was Adam’s left frontal lobe.. they totally removed his SMA area… we will see what effect this might have.

There were other blessings along with keeping his hippocampus today; There was an area of Adam’s brain that the doctors had planned to separate by placing an incision to disconnect the area, making one piece into two… they did not have to do this as the brain electrodes showed no need to do so where previously they had.  The operating room EEG testing showed more detailed information that allowed them to bypass this area that they had initially planned on cutting.

You and I both know that it was the power of prayer that allowed this to happen.  Angels were watching over Adam and his doctors today.

We did not get Adam back in the room until 9pm tonight.  At first it looked grim, Adam was non responsive, only groaning; We were met by an ICU physician when we arrived at Adam’s room; he gave us an initial report that  sunk our hearts and hopes way too quick… I am not going to dwell on this.. needless to say Dr. B came up and restored  our hope… lesson learned, don’t listen to all doctors.

There have been a few moments tonight when Cindy and I wondered what Adam will going to be like going forward… Then I remembered his request for a blessing.. it is to sacred to share but let it be said that Adam is talking to us tonight… it’s only a little, but he is talking to us. He knew us, he knew the room around him and he wanted to hold our hands.  Cindy was able to calm his uneasiness, she sat by his bedside, talking softly to him, holding his hand and did only what a mother can do… LOVE… love a child as only a mother can do.  He came from her womb, they were one for a time and will ever possess that connection. She is the calming of the storm, she parts the troubled waters to allow safe emotional passage for our family.

Today Everest was climbed by a young man who faced the storms of this angry mountain most of his life. He has passed over the rocky ridges, he has breached the unknown ice bridges and fought an uphill battle for the past ten years.. but today he reached a peak; a peak I can not imagine how hard it was to climb to. Knowingly going forth to have part of your brain removed, yet able to exercise faith and to demonstrate trust at such a young age.  He faced the storm winds head on without fear because he had faith, without doubt because he knows in whom he trusts, he is without despair because he has hope.

This is a mountain that we all have climbed together this week.. There will be other mountains for Adam to climb as he goes forward.  We don’t know what the future holds, we don’t know what to expect, we don’t know what long-term issues might exist.. Yet we are determined to go forth with faith, we will go forth with hope and we will exercise charity.

Thank you all for your fasting and prayers..Tonight we have our son back, we have crossed the bridge only to find ourselves on the other side… this is uncharted territory for us, but together we can find our way.  Thank you