Still Waters Run Deep

Adam giving us a smile with his Trek Ma & Pa

First, just a quick update on Adam.. His CT scan came back showing an increase in swelling or fluid build up, which is to be expected, and which is most likely causing him a good amount of pain.. which he cannot really tells us about at this point…He is sleeping at the moment.  Thank you for your prayers.

Many years ago I heard my father utter the saying “still waters run deep”…. He was talking about a man we knew.  I don’t remember who he was but I do remember the saying and the ring it has carried in my thoughts over the years.

We use this saying when relating the personality traits of an individual who is quietly strong, not boisterous in their outward personality, but  possesses an inner strength to push through difficulties without complaining and without looking for the fanfare.

As many of you know we live on a little farm and with all farms come a number of activities (parent talk) or chores (kid talk) that need to be accomplished everyday, every week and every month.  At first animals are exciting and new, but over time they can become a “chore.”  Adam and his sisters do a very nice job in helping out around the ranch and completing the chores.

There are times when we all have been very tired, yet the “chores” still needed to be done.  I have seen the inner strength in Adam, at the family level, quietly put his shoes on and head out to do the tasks that no one else wanted to perform; I have seen him in the rain, in the heat, in the day and in the dark willing to perform that which needed doing.  He has been a wonderful help to Cindy when I am not around.

I have seen the stirrings of the still waters at 4:30am while getting him up and ready for seminary. You see, a lot of seizures would go unnoticed, they would happen at night in his sleep.  The seizures would take a toll on him physically and mentally, in the form of fatigue, mental alertness and overall wellbeing… Adam wanted to be with the other kids at seminary so he would push himself to great lengths, not complaining only a quiet ‘I don’t feel good, my head hurts” in the mornings.  As parents it was always a difficult choice… How far should we push him… if we push him too hard and he becomes too exhausted he might have a seizure at school… exhaustion can bring on seizures in individuals.

We would ask ourselves; if we didn’t push him, were we allowing him to be lazy?  Each morning Cindy and I would have to make a decision, a decision we questioned everyday, every week, every month… did we do the right thing?  Did we push too hard or not hard enough?  Adam never complained, he would try to tell us how he was feeling, sometimes stronger than others;  I really think that Adam was feeling so bad so often that it became his new normal… his base line had been reset to miserable.

I have seen Adam’s internal strength when he was the last kid to be picked for a game, or when others might have shunned him for their own social gains or the look on his face when he didn’t get invited to a party that everyone else did.  He knew what was happening, yet he always said it would be ok.  He never holds a grudge, is always forgiving and always willing to let the past be the past.  It doesn’t matter how someone had treated him, it was how they were to him today. He doesn’t speak ill of others and is always ready to make a friend.

I have seen the still waters in Adam move him to compassion; sincere concern for others.  The off shoot, the social outcast, the lonely, and downtrodden… Adam has always found a real interest in those who might not be “part of the group” He has spent time with them, making a friend and finding good in everyone.  This is an inner strength, an inner security that runs deep in him.

At the moment Adam is lying in his hospital bed, fighting for tomorrow, fighting for his future; Fighting to overcome the several large portions of his brain which was recently removed… Even in his weakened state, I can see the still waters in motion, rising from a deep spring; a spring that resides from within.  I see him pushing himself to get out of bed, to sit up, to stand up, to walk a few steps.

I see him fighting to find the speech he once had; wanting to make sense of the objects around him.  I can see the frustrations, but I am not sure he understands where they are coming from.

I see a strength in him just to get through the day; to make it through the night and to make it to tomorrow…. how do you tell someone you have to go to the bathroom when you cannot find the words to talk and express yourself or your needs?… yet he pushes on… always fighting, never giving up.

All this and so much more has been done in such a quiet way… Adam’s way.  Like all kids, Adam wants to be happy, he wants to have friends but he doesn’t do it at the expense of others… He is an open book with gentle pages, always willing to share himself.

There is a quiet strength in Adam, as he gets older and passes through these teenage years this strength will become a greater asset to him… the current time will pass and will only be a memory, but Adam’s strength will become stronger and stronger with each new sunrise.

Adam’s water runs deep and flow from a divine well.  Run strong, run deep and always keep the Masters Touch my son.

Dad giving Adam a Shave

Beautiful sunset in Orlando.. Tomorrow will be a new Day for Adam