Delayed Impact:

Delayed Impact on Parents

It is an interesting collage that Cindy and I are experiencing since bringing Adam home from the hospital.

Adam is making progress; There are the hills and valley’s for him to travel through on his trek to recovery… this is to be expected. What wasn’t expected is the collateral damage or blast scatter of his surgery on us.  I feel it is important to write this as a “memo to self” or as a guide for other parents who might travel the path we have trod… I pen this not by way of complaint, but in hopes of expressing a few feelings and possibly a map that others might use.

The impact and effects of an explosive device are not all experienced immediately but can be delayed and felt for sometime after detonation.  The full catalog of damages cannot be quantified at the point and time of impact.

With the distancing of time,  grows an outcrop of unsettled, scattered, and sometime toxic seeds; seeds that find fertile soil and are sprouted  on exit wounds. I have found personal exit wounds and experienced the delayed effects of items that are an outcrop of Adam’s surgery.

When preparing for an enemy or facing a blast we wear protective Armor;  On the spiritual battlegrounds I choose to wear The Armor of God.  In Ephesians we are taught by Paul concerning the Armor of God .

11.  Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12.  For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14. Stand therefore, having your loins  girt  about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15. And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16. Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:  (Ephesians 6: 11-17)

Armor, ancient and modern, is designed to absorb the blows of the enemy and the impact of his weapons. While wearing armor we still feel the force and pressure of those weapons as they pound upon us, but we are protected from direct physical contact ; Even though we are protected from the blade’s edge, these blows all have a cumulative effect and take their toll.

Sometimes the armor we wear will not cover us completely, or there might be a chink or two in our armor.  The enemy will look for these spots of vulnerability and seek to find ways to penetrate, wound and maim.

There are flaming arrows of hurt which can pass through our defenses, leaving exit wounds for none to see except those who felt the arrow after it left its quiver and took flight.  These unseen exit wounds face away from the battle front and mostly go unnoticed because we maintain our battle face for others to see.

Modern emotional exit wounds are often collateral damage from an unintended IED.  Fragments of small shrapnel can find chinks in our protective armor; When they enter, their penetration point is small but upon exiting they produce an exit wound which is much larger than its entry: Opening a ragged, painful hole that is usually cloaked from the eyes of others.

Shrapnel, unintended or intended, can come in many forms and from a variety of sources: It can come in the middle of the night when you wake up thinking about your child and his or her future… It can come from not knowing what the future holds… It can come from financial worries… It can come from an overburden of “to do’s” that need to get done… It can come from a situation at your work or with your employment… It can come simply as a car not starting or a flat tire on a road… it is anything that is an area of personal vulnerability at that time in your life.

In all its forms… it amplifies your feelings of burden and enlarges the poor situation you find yourself in… What use to seem simple and doable, now becomes difficult and weighty to shoulder.

These fragments of shrapnel consist of a little mass… their point of entry is small, but they travel with speed, hit with force, and are uneven and sharp in nature.. when they hit, they can spin wildly within in us, gaining greater mass and momentum until they exit… when they do exit they come out on our unexposed side… showing up at home away from the daily stage we play our parts on; They appear in our moments of aloneness causing us a painful pivoting turn in the direction of our personal prison for the fear of judgement…they can leave a large unattended wound…an unnoticed wound… it is here where seeds of  loneliness, detachment, bewilderment and anger  find the soil to grow… it is here where pain lingers as it appears out of reach to treat… it is here that we experience a greater measure of the unwanted emotions because they hide, yet blossom in the shadows of ignorance and embarrassment… it is here where pain goes untreated because it is not public.

If left untreated the battle is lost and the war’s outcome becomes in question.

The delayed impact of a number of items can take its toll upon its victims… very unexpectedly… maybe it just takes time to catch up.  We have the tools to treat, we have the ointment to soothe, we have the direction to turn to for aid… A compass which points true;  A First Aid Kit is available and is found in searching The Word of God and in the plea of a humble prayer… here are a few thoughts in dealing with the exit wounds of an unexpected shock wave.

1.  Maintain your marriage relationship:   Keep your bonds alive and work together with your companion.  Cindy is an amazing individual who continues to sew up my exit wounds, although I am a terrible patient.

2. Wear the Armor of God:  Trust in the word;  Put faith into action… make the leap… It is real and it will give you hope… exercise faith in that which you know and in that which you hope for.  There are Miracles;  Miracles will happen,  Miracles do happen… but first you need to exercise faith… God will test you… then flows the miracle after the trial of your faith.

3.  Be Patient:  God’s timeline is not our timeline… this I have learned…. be patient… If you will trust God, Be Obedient and Exercise Faith you will see with perfect clarity God’s guiding hand in your life.

4.  Remember the Good in Others: Focus on the good and not the trouble spots.  I have found so much good in others… I have seen so much good in others… and this continues to heal the daily wounds.

5. Remember the words of my Grandfather:  Papa would always say to remember three things; Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family and don’t worry about money because they print it everyday… Thank you Papa.

Armor of God